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I laughed, a deep warmth settling in my chest as I felt a wave of understanding and acceptance wash over me. I knew she was right—that the only real way to fight evil was with cunning and a bit of my own wickedness. I wasn't the type to forgive and forget. Karma came in all forms, and I just had to choose the method of delivery carefully.
"You're wiser than I took ya for, girlie," Tony said, gazing at me fondly, like a proud older brother type. "It ain't always easy doin' what's right..." His voice trailed off as he looked away briefly, almost lost in thought for a moment before continuing on with determination."But sometimes, right ain't actually…right."
A pillow from my bed went flying across the wagon, smacking Tony in the face as Ellie laughed. "You're talking nonsense, you goof," Ellie said, but she fluttered her long, pale lashes at him.
Oh yeah, the girl was smitten hard.
Tony grabbed the pillow and threw it right back, but Ellie ducked out of the way before it hit her or her mug of tea.
"What Tony's trying to say is, you don't always have to do what society else tells you is right or moral, darling. You can trust your gut and make a choice for yourself. What he did to you was horrifying, but it's not unheard of around these parts. Sometimes it's better to be a little wicked if it means setting things right."
"Took the words right outta my brain," Tony said proudly, tapping his temple with the end of his cigar.
* * *
Hours later,I found myself in the middle of a game of poker with Tony, Ellie and those two messy, paint-smeared clowns I'd seen while with Liam. Their names were Roy and Rex, and they died during a train derailment back in the sixties. Believe it or not, they were actually circus clowns before their deaths.
By now the main tent was empty, and the carnies had claimed it for themselves.
The crooning woman was singing; her gentle yet powerfully haunting voice carried through the room, serenading all of us while we drank Euphoria and relaxed. The sweet concoction thrummed through my ghostly veins, and even though I was fully aware that the sensations were probably mostly a mental thing and not physical, it didn't stop me from enjoying them.
The tent was alive with after-hours debauchery and sexually charged flirting. The darkened stands were filled with the occasional sigh or moan, and I remembered the last time I came to one of these. I'd seen people straight up fucking in the stands, without a single care about being seen. It was kind of refreshing to know that things like that weren't looked down on here. Everyone seemed to be indulging in any and every pleasure they could grasp.
After a ten-year relationship with a man who made me feel guilty for being who I was, it was more than refreshing. It was satisfying in a way I didn't realize I craved.
I found myself caught up in the excitement of it all, laughing and joking around with my new undead friends as we played our hands. Tony was smoking his cigar and taking sips of Euphoria like it was water while Ellie fluttered her lashes at him every chance she got.
As Roy dealt out the cards for the next hand, I couldn't help but feel a pang of longing in my gut. But this time, it wasn't a longing for the life I used to have but rather a yearning to become a permanent fixture here with these new souls that truly accepted me.
"Why so serious?" Rex asked me with raised brows. I blinked out of my thoughts, realizing everyone was looking at me. Rex was a burly man with a beard, kind brown eyes, and clown paint all over his face.
"Don't be too shy to share with the class, baby ghost," Roy added. He winked his gray eye at me—the one that wasn't hidden under an eye patch. It was almost the only way to tell the two clown brothers apart.
I smiled indulgently. "I was just thinking that this place might not be so bad—you know, if I decide to stay."
"If, she says..," came a teasing voice from behind me. Hands caressed the tops of my shoulders, massaging gently as Bael's scent surrounded me. His lips caressed the shell of my ear. "As if there's anything remotely as exciting as this awaiting you back there." The others laughed, and I found myself grinning as a giddy feeling welled up inside of me.
I turned to face Bael, my pulse racing with anticipation of this little game he liked to play with me. His handsome features were illuminated by the soft glow of the neon lights, and his body was still sprinkled with remnants of stage glitter.
"I'm not making any promises yet," I said coyly, trying to hide the fact that his touch was sending bolts of electricity through every nerve in my body.
I was lying through my teeth. In my soul, I knew I'd already made the decision to stay. Talking with Ellie and Tony only solidified it. I wasn't going to tell Bael or Theo yet. I might as well make them squirm a bit longer.
Bael chuckled, his arms wrapping around my upper body and pulling me closer against him. Well, then, I'll just have to make it worth your while," he whispered as his lips brushed against mine.
He kissed me gently at first, but then more firmly, as if daring me to pull away since we had a small audience. His tongue darted out teasingly as I parted my lips slightly, allowing him access inside. There were so many more erotic and risque activities happening around us that this kiss seemed chaste in comparison.
The kiss was electrifying; it felt like nothing else mattered except for us in this moment here together under these flashing lights and smooth music. My hands found their way up into his hair, pulling him closer until there was no space between our bodies anymore.
"Why don't you show her what she's missing and then get back to us with the verdict?" Tony teased.
"You're making us blush, baby ghost," Rex added, elbowing his brother who laughed boisterously.
Bael pulled back from our passionate embrace with a smirk on his face before raising a single eyebrow. "So now they get to give you nicknames too? I thought what we had was special, blue girl?"
"Why do you call her that?" Ellie asked after a long swig of Euphoria. Her eyes were glossy, and her limbs were relaxed as she settled her feet in Tony's lap.
Bael played with my curls, stroking the wild strands absently. "Because eyes are a window into the soul, and my blue girl never could hide that beautiful sadness."
