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Like an idiot, I wanted to cry.
Like the inexperienced fool that Lars had accused me of being, I wanted to cry.
Sex and emotions didn’t go hand-in-hand for Lars Finley, and that was something that I’d known for years. In fact, most guys were able to have sex without having any kind of emotional attachment to the girl, something that everyone over the age of thirteen knew. Girls were the ones that made shit complicated by introducing feelings into a situation that didn’t require any. Yeah, sex required some sense of attraction and/or lust, but that was about it.
It also wasn’t lost on me that I’d been ready to endure a heartbreak by Lars Finley not two minutes ago, but now that it was happening, I wasn’t onboard with it at all.
Even though Calliope didn’t know about me and Lars, I still felt like I had to salvage my pride right now. I didn’t want to be that stupid girl, even though I clearly was.
“I agree,” I said, doing my best to keep my voice light. “Rosa’s gorgeous, and now that she’s single, there’s going to be a line out the door to date her.”
“Well, maybe now that he’s occupied with Rosa, he’ll leave you alone long enough for you to hook up with someone,” she said cheerfully. “I mean, I know you’re not ready to get busy in anyone’s backseat, but if Lars is busy with Rosa, you might be able to sneak off to a movie or something.”
I cleared my throat as I flashed her a fake smile. “Yeah, that…that might work.”
Just then, the bell rang for second period, and Calliope ran off before giving me a quick finger wave, leaving me alone to wonder what in the hell was going on.
I thought back to everything that Lars had whispered in my ear, and I couldn’t believe how I’d fallen for it. It was clear as day how he’d been trying to prove a point about my inexperience, and I had proven him right in the worst way. I had fallen for the first guy that had ever put his hands on me, proving just how naïve and stupid I really was. While I had book smarts, I was dumber than a box of rocks when it came to real life stuff.
Hugging my book closer to my chest, it was so hard to believe that Lars would risk our friendship just to win this…this thing between us, but he’d had. Even while I’d sworn that I wouldn’t, Lars had known that I’d confuse desire with love, and he’d gone and twisted me up anyway. A harsh lesson learned, tough love; being cruel to be kind…whatever his intentions, I’d never felt like such a goddamn fool.
I also knew that I was going to have to suffer this alone. There was no way that I could tell Talon what happened, and it wouldn’t be fair to ask Kenzlee to keep something like this from him. A random kiss was one thing, a humiliating broken heart was another. Yeah, I could always call Alexandria, but she was Kenzlee’s cousin, so her loyalty was to Kenzlee first.
Tears stung my eyes as I realized that I really had no one to talk to.
~
Lars~
After walking Edie out of the restroom yesterday, I’d felt…lighter. Now that the decision had been made to pursue this thing with Edie, I knew that I needed to talk with Talon, but I didn’t want to talk to him over the phone. I figured I could drive up to visit him and Kenzlee, then tell him about me and Edie like a man, face-to-face. He deserved the respectandthe opportunity to swing one in my face if he felt the need. After all, Edie was his baby sister, something that I’d known before I had kissed her on Friday.
The plan was to talk to her as soon as I got Talon’s permission to be with her. I knew that she was probably confused by my casualness, but honestly, it was more self-preservation at this point. I wanted Edie Draven more than I’d ever imagined that I could want a girl, and keeping my hands off her was all that I had to combat the need for her. I’d already crossed so many lines that I owed it to Talon to hold off for a couple of more days. After that, Edie would be mine, and everyone would know it.
Heading to the library to research that stupid history project, I started getting a weird vibe as random guys gave me thumbs up and slapped my back, happy for me. There was no way any of them could know about Edie, so I had no idea what the congratulations were for, but something was definitely up.
Ignoring them, I walked into the library, then headed straight for one of the unoccupied computers. While we’d all had notebooks assigned to us at the beginning of the year, there was something to be said for the peace and quiet of the library when I was struggling on a class assignment. Plus, with Edie running around in my head, I needed to focus and not look for her everywhere on campus.
As the computer came to life, I felt a body jostle me, and when I looked over, Dillon was grinning at me like a lunatic. I mean, all of his teeth were visible, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think that the guy was as high as a kite.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked, though keeping my voice low since we were in the library.
“Dude, I get playing your cards close to your vest, but you had to know that we’d all find out,” he said, and I really had no idea what in the fuck he was talking about.
“Find out what?
Even if someone had seen me and Edie walking out of the restroom yesterday, lots of people had seen me dragging her into the restroom, pissed off as hell. So, the automatic conclusion would be that I’d been reading her the riot act, not getting her off with my fingers.
“About you and Rosa,” he answered slyly. “It’s all over school.”
I could feel my chest tighten painfully.
“What’sall over school?” I asked. “What are you talking about?”
Dillon’s smile vanished, confusion taking over his face. “The…uh, date to the football game that you have with her,” he said, and my chest felt even tighter. “Weren’t you with her last night? Didn’t you guys hook up?”
“No,” I snapped before looking around, remembering where I was. “Where’d you hear that from?”
“I heard it from Hector,” he said. “It’s all over school.”
