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I sit up straighter as all eyes land on me. “Truth.” I spit out the word with force and look Marissa dead in the eye. Everyone around me boos. I don’t care. I’m an open book, so truth doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
She grins broadly. “I had a feeling you would choose that. Such a safe option, right nerd girl?”
I shrug my shoulders. I feel like I might be sick, but I refuse to look away from her.
She tilts her head as we hold eye contact. “Are you a virgin, Ronnie? And if you could lose your ‘precious cherry’ to anyone here, who would it be?” She cuts her eyes over to where Brad is sitting nearby. I notice Brittany is sitting so close to him that she’s practically on top of him.
I straighten my shoulders and hear the whispers of everyone around me. “She’s got to be a virgin, man. Maybe she would give it up to me.” I hear one of the guys whisper.
I blink rapidly. Now is not the time to cry, Ronnie. That’s what Marissa wants. She wants me to feel left out and ridiculed.
“I’m a virgin,” I say loudly and clearly, “and the answer is there is no one here I would sleep with. Not even if you paid me a million bucks.” I look around the room as many of the guys hoot and holler. Brad’s head pops up at my answer, and his swift look of anger makes my nerves jitter even more.
Marissa stands up and walks over to me. I stand and steel myself so that I can look her in the eye. She seems to want some kind of confrontation, which is the last thing I want. It looks like I don’t have much of a choice though.
She uses her index finger to poke me roughly in the chest. “So predictable, Ronnie. You really are a stuck-up bitch, aren’t you? No one here good enough for Principal Hester’s little girl? Ha. These guys don’t give a shit about you, girl.”
She pulls a red notebook from behind her back and waves it under my nose. My heart rate speeds up and my eyes widen. I suddenly feel hot, then cold. How did she get that? Duh. Like an idiot, I left it in my backpack that I brought with me. I should have known that going through my things would not be off limits for someone like her.
“In fact, I have your little written fantasies right here. Would anyone like to hear the kink that our perfect girl actually likes?” I close my eyes and feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment as the others around me start to cheer. Please God let this stop.
I take a deep breath. “Please, Marissa don’t do this. Give me my notebook back.”
“I think everyone here deserves to know what Ms. Perfect actually thinks about.” She winks at me. “Get used to masturbating to your trash books because no real guy would touch you. But I have to admit some of these fantasies are pretty interesting.” She opens the notebook and starts to read as I shudder inside. I lunge forward to grab the notebook, but she dances out of my way.
She clears her throat to read. “He stroked my breast lightly, as his lips traveled a path down my body, moving towards…um, I wonder where his lips are going? Would everyone like to know?” I hear catcalls and hoots of yes.
I want to move or run, but my feet are grounded. Humiliation washes over me in a wave. I close my eyes again. I want to die right now. I want to never have to see these people again.
I hold my head down and wait for the next words, knowing it only gets more graphic from here. “Let me see, let me see…moving downs toward…” Her voice suddenly stops and I snap my head up.
“I don’t think anyone needs to hear what happens next. Marissa, I believe you have better things to do than steal someone else’s personal property.” The deep voice that was so full of bitterness before is now my saving grace. Sawyer snatches the notebook out of Marissa’s hands and she stumbles back.
“Fuck you, Sawyer,” Marissa mutters as she crosses her arms and steadies herself. “Suddenly trying to be a hero? We all know better about why kind of guy you are.”
Sawyer clicks his tongue. “Now, now such language. Is that anyway for the homecoming queen of Riverton Prep to talk?” He glares at the crowd, which has gone completely silent. Everyone looks back at him in awe. My guess is that the ‘bad boy’ of Five Oaks rarely takes time to address anyone. “Alright, everyone back to whatever you were doing before. No more Truth or Dare though guys because I really, really don’t want to see Lewis or Bobby’s privates dangling again. My cousin brought some damn good alcohol up here to amuse your teenage asses so go back to it.” His voice is so commanding that no one debates him. People start talking and I gaze down at my feet again. I cross my arms and huddle in on myself. I still want to disappear.
When I look up, I see nothing but hate and anger in Marissa’s eyes. I’m not sure what I did to make her hate me so much, but I suddenly feel like I can’t take it anymore. My shoulders finally sag and I give in to the tears. All I can hear is the laughter, and as the tears spill down my cheeks, I see triumph cross Marissa’s face. I have to get away. I can’t breathe.
I run past all of the laughing assholes and out through the back door. I slam the screened-in porch door extra hard. I don’t stop running until I reach the end of the dock. Right now, I want to run forever. I want to run home or better yet, into my mama’s hug. Instead, I stand at the end of the dock and lock my arms around myself. I take deep, hiccupping breaths. I rub my thumb over the gold locket around my neck. It has a picture of my mom in it, and during rough times rubbing it makes me feel a little closer to her.
When my tears finally start to slow, I shiver. It’s twilight, and starting to get cold here in the mountains. I look forlornly towards the mountains in the distance. Why did I come here? I’ve known since I started this school that I don’t belong with these people. It shouldn’t bother me to be rejected by them. Most of the time it doesn’t, but I feel the weight of all those stares and all that laughter. I can’t take it anymore. I stiffen when I hear steps behind me.
I feel a hand on my back and I jump. Large hands attempt to wrap a sweatshirt around my shoulders. I try to shrug it off. I look behind me to see Sawyer standing there. “It’s cold out here. You need a jacket.” His voice is gruff and it sends another shiver through me. Another tear rolls down my cheek and I angrily wipe it. God, I do not want this bitter asshat to see me crying.
I sit down silently on the dock and try to ignore him. Unfortunately, he doesn’t get the hint and I can still feel him standing behind me.
“It’s really starting to get cold out here, isn’t it? Man, I’m kinda glad. Otherwise, the mosquitos out here would be killer.” His voice sounds slightly nervous and I almost laugh. I can’t believe Mr. Cool Guy is actually trying to make small talk in order to comfort me.
I turn my head and glare up at him. “Really, really?” My voice goes up an octave. “You actually want to discuss the weather after that scene in there? Shouldn’t you be telling me ‘I told you so’?”
I turn around again to gaze out over the water. “I don’t need anything from you. Just because you stopped them back there doesn’t mean you’re some kind of knight in shining armor. You’re just like everyone else here. You all seem to think it’s okay to treat me like trash and I’m done with it. They treat me like a leper because I’m the principal’s daughter, and don’t have the money they do. You treat me like crap because you think I’m an entitled brat like them. I can’t win no matter what I do. I just want to go home.” I sniffle. For the love of God, go away so I can cry in peace.
I clench my jaw and purposely look the other direction when he sits down next to me. I can’t take anymore, so I hope he leaves me alone. I don’t need pity or scorn, which are the only two emotions he would probably offer me right now.
“You can’t let what those assholes in there say affect you. If they know you’re vulnerable at all, they’ll keep trying to hurt you. It’s how they are.” So, he’s going with pity, designed as a pep talk.
“Excuse me if I don’t think you’re much different.” I reach around and take the shirt off to hand back to him.
