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Their side looked like Martha Stewart. My side looked like Sanford and Son.
I needed to help with the yard work. It was my neighborly duty.
I went into the house and up to my bedroom. I was running out of clothes at Lee’s place so I dumped the contents of my ever-ready, rarely-used workout bag and shoved items in just in case my stay there lasted longer. I took off my clothes, slathered myself with factor 8 and put on a pair of cutoff jean shorts and a kelly-green camisole with a shelf bra. I gathered my hair in a messy knot on top of my head, grabbed my phone and called Lee.
“Yeah?” he answered.
“How’s it going?”
“Not good.”
He didn’t sound happy.
Yikes.
“If you get finished in time, we’re going out for pizza before Tod’s show tonight,” I shared.
“Who’s ‘we?’” he asked.
“Your mom says ‘all of us,’ so I’m guessing that means Marianne Meyer, Andrea Moran and her kids, probably Ally and Hank, likely Dad and Malcolm, and select players from the Colorado Rockies,” I paused. “Oh, and Tex.”
“Marianne Meyer and Andrea Moran?”
“They’re on a Lee and Indy Sex Watch.”
“Come again?”
“They want to know when we’vedone it.”
Silence.
I went on, “If we don’t do it soon, they might force us to at gunpoint.”
“Christ.”
“I know. No pressure though. I told them we’re taking it slow.”
“You have to report in?” he asked.
“I kind of feel obliged,” I admitted.
“How’s that?”
I didn’t want to tell him I’d recruited them both for Lee Maneuvers in the past, so I said, “Never mind.”
“If something doesn’t happen soon, it’s gonna be bad. I can’t keep focused. All I can think of is what’s on your Victoria’s Secret credit statement.”
“You need to keep focused,” I told him. “Bad guys are after me.”
“Tell me about it.”
He hung up and I went into the other bedroom. Tex was lying on the couch, a sandwich on a plate and an open bag of chips both balanced on his sling. My remote was in his hand, the TV was on and a ballgame was blaring.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Peachy.” He flipped through channels, acting for all the world as if he was a regular houseguest.
I got a sandwich from Ally and Kitty Sue, ate it standing up and then went outside. Hank was alternately hosing down Andrea’s monsters and watering my fuchsia and lawn. I hunkered down to weed my front flower bed, got into it about three feet and decided to take a break.
