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She hesitates in momentary silence.I—I didn’t know it would even work. I thought you weredying—I had to do something. I wouldn’t have attempted it otherwise.
She was afraid I’d die and leave her without a host too. So much concern for me that’s not really for me at all.
I lower my head into my hands, but I’m too tangled up inside to sit there with my feelings.
The cracks in my story are starting to show. I have no idea how I’m going to handle this situation now.
The thought of facing the interrogation Stavros will give me when he marches into his quarters makes me want to vomit.
Grasping the sofa cushion, I heave myself to my feet.
Julita’s presence shifts in the back of my head.Where are you going? They said—
I walk carefully to the door. “I know what they said. And I know what I need. Just a little quiet, so I can actually think.”
Girding myself against the pangs still echoing through my battered body, I stride out into the hall.
Thirty-One
There aren’t many places I can go.
After the ball, I imagined slipping away into my old life on the fringes. That feels impossible now.
I don’t trust Julita’s men not to come hunting me down. In their eyes, I’d essentially have kidnapped her, stolen her away from them.
I can keep out of their way, but I’d distract them even more at the same time as the daimon are ramping up their assaults…
If the scourge sorcerers are escalating their plans, the men need to be here, figuring that out. Maybe I’m no hero, but I’m not going to screw up the greatest chance of preventing a new divine retribution.
There’s also the fact that I don’t trust Julita not to make another play for control over my body if I completely walk away. And with the way my magic is breaking me more with every attack, I don’t trustmyselfto fend off another attempt at full possession.
I have to stay at the college, at least for now. But I can seek out a little peace and quiet to figure out how I can stop the latest incident from turning into a full-blown catastrophe.
I take the little-used staircase at the back of the Domi that’ll let me reach the secret archive entrance without having to pass the main library doors or any of the students who might be circulating there. No doubt the whole school is buzzing about the king’s visit.
The narrow spiral of steps is cool and cramped, but I’m just glad to be alone. Other than the restless stirring in the back of my head, where Julita has decided to suppress her complaints for the moment but is clearly still unhappy with me.
All the way down the three flights, I consider my possibilities.
I could say I have a terminal illness that I didn’t tell them about before. Something uncurable and gradually progressing. It’d almost be true.
But I find it hard to imagine the men wouldn’t drag me off to a medic to confirm my story. After all, none of them are going to believe I got assessed by someone fully qualified while I was living on the streets.
I could say I thought it was an effect of hosting two souls in one body. There isn’t much a medic could do about that—and I don’t think the men want to reveal to anyone that Julita is still with us.
Who knows how they’d react to that news, though? Would they set out in search of a new host or an alternate way to keep her around instead of focusing on stopping the scourge sorcerers?
Maybe if I say I think one of the medics themselves used hostile magic on me, so going to them could mean exposing me to worse treatment? Of course, then I’d have to create a bigger lie to explain how and when the supposed attack happened…
By the time I reach the hall of tapestries, I’m gnawing on my lower lip. The pinch of pain from my teeth doesn’t sharpen my thoughts.
I don’t know what the best course of action is. I don’t know what will get me out of this mess with the least damage.
I pass the fading images of past royalty and military commanders in their glorious deeds, feeling awfully small in comparison. Signy seems to glare at me from her hilltop as I prod the sconce to open the conjured passage.
She took on the Darium empire’s entire army. Why can’t I tackle a little conspiracy of evil sorcerers?
I guess it helped that the emperor’s army stood out in broad daylight with their swords and spears so she knew exactly who the enemy was.
