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I can’t heal without hurting. I can’t conjure joy without inflicting sorrow.
My power flails at me again, but I tighten my resistance. I will not make the same mistake.
My life isn’t worth that much. It isn’t worth someone else’s, whoever’s future my brutal magic would steal.
I was a monster back then. I won’t be now.
Iwon’tbe.
My eyelids slide all the way closed. The world is darkness and pain.
But even the pain is getting fuzzy, as if I’m drifting away from it. From everything. Into the black void that will swallow me up and deposit me at the feet of the godlen.
If Julita is still raving at me, her voice has faded into the distance too. My magic can’t hurt me any more than I’ve already been wrecked.
It’s all over now. My whole wretched—
A resounding voice cuts through my dwindling thoughts.Ah, my wayward rogue. What mess have you gotten yourself into now?
It’s not Julita—the voice is nothing like hers. It’s everywhere and nowhere, echoing through my veins, reverberating into my bones, speaking from inside me and outside me and yet neither all at once.
Every particle in my body goes still and silent, like the figures standing at attention for the king this afternoon. Recognizing an authority far beyond even the man who rules my country.
Who… who are you?I say and yet don’t, a wisp of a thought in a final burst of coherence.
This doesn’t appear to be an ideal time for introductions. Consider me a concerned benefactor. Now why don’t you rouse that power of yours and bind yourself back together.
I can’t tell if my body actually flinches or if it’s only my mind that recoils. A wail of wordless denial rises up inside me.
Ah,the sublime voice says.Mortals and their fears. You’ve been incredibly honorable about the whole thing, but really, if there’s a moment to set those qualms aside, this is it. You do realize you’re a minute or two from dying, don’t you?
My next response is also wordless, something along the lines of not giving a shit.
Stubborn too. It’s a good thing I appreciate that quality. I’d really prefer not to lose what we’ve already accomplished here, so what if I lend a small helping hand?
My answer could probably be best expressed as,Huh?
I’ll direct the power for you. Just a little whiff of magic, enough to hold you together until help arrives. And I’ll aim the backlash at the one who attacked you. You can’t claim there’s any unfairness tothatconsequence, I presume.
Direct the power? I wouldn’t even know how.
The voice can obviously read my thoughts even when I’m not specifically thinking at it.I know how. All I need is your agreement. You want to live, don’t you? That’s all you have to tell me.
The darkness is thickening around me. My mind has turned to sludge.
I don’t know how to tell the voice anything, but just for an instant, the words provoke a flicker of hope. A glimmer of light and the desire to reach toward it.
There was more I wanted to do…
Excellent. Let’s try to avoid any future stabbings, though, because I have to say that…
The voice washes away with a final wave of black that rolls over my mind and drowns every remaining thought.
* * *
Familiar voices are babbling around me, colliding and interrupting each other.
“Fuck. All that blood.”
