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Blaise once told me that Reece and Ryder sugarcoat the truth. I wish Blaise were here now. He would probably tell me about the curse and why the cave reeks.
"Can you check if there's a lantern in your bag?" Ryder asks, pulling out an oddly shaped silver tool from his backpack.
I shuck off my bag and search for a lantern. "There's not one in here. Sorry."
"That's okay. Reece probably has one." He sits down in the dirt, stretches out his legs, and balances the can of beans on his lap. Using the silver tool, he cuts the lid off then dips a spoon inside. He takes a bite of the beans before handing me the can and the spoon. "Eat up while I go get Reece's bag." He starts to stand up, but pauses. "What's that look for?"
I stir the beans. "What look?"
"You look like you're upset."
"I'm fine." I scoop up a spoonful of beans and stuff them into my mouth. "I think I'm just hungry."
"No, that's not it." He leans closer to me. "Come on, Allura, please tell me what's wrong, or I won't be able to relax."
I sigh, more at myself for stressing him out. Why couldn't I just let it go? He's just trying to protect me from being scared.
"It's nothing. I just wish I knew more about this curse and why the rocks smell like sulfur in here." I nibble on a bite of beans. "You seem more unsettled in here than you were outside, and I'd like to know why, even if I may get scared. I'd rather be scared than confused."
Heaving a sigh, he sits back down and opens his arms. "Come here."
I pause mid-bite. "Huh?"
His lips quirk. "I promise I won't bite. I just want you to sit on my lap."
"Oh." My heart skips a beat, which seems like such an odd reaction after everything that has happened. All three of the guys have carried me at one time or another, so sitting on Ryder's lap shouldn't be a big deal. Still, as I crawl over to him and sit down, I nearly choke on my ragged breaths.
"We should sit like this all the time," he says, urging me to lean against him.
"That'd be a little hard to do while we're walking," I retort nervously.
He chuckles, sweeping my hair to the side. Then he grows solemn.
"You really want to know about these caves and the curses?"
"I really do." I nod. "I know you guys think I'll get scared, and I probably will, but everything out here is scary. And I've spent so much time never knowing what's going on ... It's nice to have the option."
His expression wavers between worry and pity. "I didn't think about it like that ... I should've, though. Back when I lived on the docks, I didn't get to make my own choices. And everyone was so dishonest. They kept secrets from each other, and half the people lied, cheated, and stole. And when we disobeyed ..." He trails off, gulping.
"Did they ...? Did someone hurt you when you did something bad?"
He clears his throat, collecting himself. "It doesn't matter. It was a long time ago. And I escaped." He rests his chin on my shoulder. "I need you to promise me one thing before I tell you about the curse."
I want to talk to him more about what happened on the docks, but I think better of it. If he doesn't want to talk about it, I shouldn't force him.
"Promise me that no matter what, you won't go running out of this cave."
"Why would I do that?"
His breath feathers against my ear. "Because after I tell you, you're going to be so damn scared you're going to want to run as far away from here as you can."
Chapter Three
Curse of the Caves
"Still want to hear about it?" he asks after a minute of silence ticks by.
I force down the lump wedged in my throat and nod, even though I'm not certain I still do. Ryder's clearly worried, and my anxious mind is coming up with all sorts of scenarios of what could be so frightening about these caves.
"Okay." Disappointment weighs in his tone. "But if at any time you want me to stop talking, just say so." He waits for me to nod before continuing. "I'm not sure how the legend first started, but the story goes that, when the Grim first showed up in our world, a lot of people took to hiding in these caves. From what I understand, the fault line runs along nearly half of the land, and caves cover the hills. Some of them run so deep into the hills that you can get lost for days in them."
My gaze wanders to the back of the cave. "Is that why you picked one that has a dead end? So we wouldn't wander off and get lost?"
He slips an arm around my waist. "That and so I won't have to worry about someone or ... something showing up unexpectedly."
"Oh." I twist back around and relax against his chest. "Is that why everyone's so afraid of the caves--because they worry they'll get lost?"
"That's only part of the reason. There's way more to it than that."
"Does it have to do with the fact that this whole place stinks like sulfur?"
He nods. "It does."
"Does the sulfur have something to do with the Grim?"
He leans over my shoulder, capturing my gaze. "Why would you say that?"
I chew on a spoonful of beans. "I don't know. The channels kind of had the same smell, only more rotten. I thought maybe Grim are near these caves, and that's why it stinks."
"They're not in the caves. But you're right about the channels having a similar smell. And there's a reason for that. Do you know why the channels smell like sulfur?"
"I had a hunch it had something to do with all the dead bodies decomposing down there." I set down the empty can of beans and rotate sideways on his lap. "The wardens used to tell me that, if I ever tried to run away, I'd get lost in the channels, and my body would never be found. I sometimes wondered if that happened to a lot of people, and that's why the air always carried the scent of death."
"It might be because of that, but that's not what the curse is about." He stares at the entrance of the cave where light filters in, tracing his finger up and down my side. "The Forsaken believe that the scent of sulfur means a Grim's spirit is close by."
"Their spirits? Like ghosts?"
"No, the Grim can't die. Their spirits aren't the same as human spirits."
I relax a smidgen, but I keep my guard on high alert. "Then what are the spirits?"
"It's kind of hard to explain." He chews on his bottom lip. "The thing is, we don't know a lot about the Grim. When they invaded our world, they destroyed a lot of our learning resources. Plus, we spend so much time running and hiding from them that it doesn't leave much of a chance to do research. But we do have a team at the station that spends most of their extra time trying to learn more about the Grim. The problem is, with all the rescue missions and attacks going on, no one has a ton of extra time."
"So, you don't know what their spirits are?"
"No, not for sure. But we have some ideas, one being that their spirits are just a discarded memory the Grim leave behind."
I think about my own resurfacing memories. All those years I spent in the channel and I couldn't remember much about the outside world. But the second I escaped, I began recollecting bits and pieces of a forgotten life.
"So they just discard their memories and what?" I coil a strand of my hair around my finger. "Does the memory float around? Can we pick it up and see it?" The thought makes my stomach churn. The last thing I ever want is to see what goes on inside a Grim's mind.
But you might be Grim, so maybe you already have.
He shakes his head, but then he hesitates. "Well, if they do float around, humans can't see them. At least, I've never heard of anyone seeing one. Some people believe there's a way to collect them and see the memories, but if you do, you lose your mind and go crazy."
I cast an apprehensive glance around the cave. If memories are here, could I possibly see them since I'm a hybrid?
"What are some of the other theories?"
"That a spirit is actually a part of a Grim."
"Like they replicate themselves? Because that sounds horrible."
"It does sound horrible, and honestly, I'm not a big believer in that theory."
He brushes a few strands of his blond hair out of his eyes. "But the spirit isn't an actual physical replica of the Grim. It's more like faded pieces of them, like shed skin left behind after they've used moonstone to recharge."
I make an appalled face. "You're making them sound like snakes ... and ghosts ... like ghost snakes."
He rubs his lips together, struggling not to smile. "And you're making this story way more amusing than it should be."
"Sorry. I'm just trying to understand. It's so confusing ... and alarming ... and strange."
"I wish I could explain it better, but we're still trying to understand it, too." He reaches up and cups my cheek. "But to answer your question about the curse, the Forsaken believe in the latter. They think that, not only do the Grim shed their skin, but that shed skin can make physical contact with a human and sometimes can even slip inside us and possess our bodies."
