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I don’t look up as I turn and leave, even though his eyes bore into me. I don’t want to see the hatred there. I can’t bear to see the disdain. Maybe it’s getting my wolf today, something that should be celebrated, but the wounds on my soul feel fresher. Raw. Opened. Bleeding.
I’m almost at the packhouse when I realize he didn’t wish me a happy birthday. I wasn’t expecting it, but, somehow, it still stings.
Another rejection. Another slash. Another wound.
I hurry through the backdoor of the packhouse, barely able to hear my instructions for the day over the buzzing in my ears. I feel shattered and dull. The worst part is my wolf experiencing it for the first time. Poor thing, she had hope. I could feel it bursting through me, and it will die a slow, painful death now.
She should have gotten a better female as her human. Maybe then she could have avoided the pain which has been the hallmark of my life for years.
“Don’t say that. We are one. We are the same. I would never choose another human over you. We are entwined and I am right where I’m supposed to be.” She growls her words in my head, “You will see. We are strong and when you need my help, I will be there. In your mind. At your back. I will never abandon you. We will fight.”
I sigh because I don’t know if I have any fight left in me. When I was ten, I tried to fight against the change in everyone around me. I fought and scratched and tried to stand against it. It didn’t work. I even pleaded, but it was difficult to lower myself to begging for the love and security I should have been freely given.
I push away those thoughts to focus on the task at hand. The consequences aren’t anything I want to experience if I don’t complete what I’ve been assigned.
Everything is going fine with my duties, and I’ve worked my way through the bottom floor of the packhouse while dreading the thought of heading up to the Alpha floor to clean. Nothing good comes from me interacting with anyone of rank in this pack. So much fucking pain.
Even though my wolf healed me, I can still feel the phantom pains of Todd’s beating. I shudder and try to find solace in putting off going to the Beta floor for a few more minutes. My heart clenches in my chest at the memory of Samuel being my protector and Kathy being my friend.
So long ago. So fucking long ago.
When I step onto the Alpha floor, I take a deep breath and freeze. The scent of cinnamon and fresh rain washes over me. It’s comforting, but also puts me on edge. I don’t understand either reaction at first.
Not until my wolf yips, “Mate!”
The dread which has been my constant companion for years curls in my gut and threatens to take me down to my knees. I might be weak, by their making, but I won’t fall to my knees for anyone in this pack. I won’t give them the advantage or the satisfaction. I can’t.
I straighten my spine and step farther down the hallway, planning on going to the Alpha’s home office to clean first. It’s a better place to start than the bedrooms. You never know what is going to greet you in the bedrooms; I learned that lesson the hard way.
My wolf is pushing at me to find the source of the scent, to find her mate, but I already have a sinking suspicion of who it belongs to, and I know pain is the only thing that will greet me if I seek out his scent. Today was supposed to be a celebration. It isn’t. It’s my worst fear come to life and given wings to soar.
Before I can make it all the way down the hallway, a door on my left opens harshly, bringing more of the cinnamon-rain scent. I keep my eyes to the floor as another scent, this one wholly female, mixes with that of my mate.
“What’s that ugly mutt doing on your floor, baby?” The female’s voice coos, but it sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me.
I glance up and my heart stalls in my chest as my wolf whimpers. Todd is standing there, naked, and not even a little bit ashamed of it, while a she-wolf wraps herself around him from behind. When I lock eyes with Todd, I want to look away, but I can’t.
My wolf whimpers, “Mate? What is that female doing with him?” Her voice is filled with growled anguish that breaks my heart, “What is going on?”
I wish I could comfort her, but I can’t. I’m not as confused as she is, not by a long shot, but I’m not equipped to deal with this situation.
Todd’s eyes are filled with malice as he stares at me. He sneers and I know the words about to come from his lips are going to hit me like a wrecking ball. “You will never be Luna of this pack, you worthless piece of shit.”
I suck in a sharp breath as does the female who is currently clinging to my mate. My mate. The knowledge that he didn’t wait, like I did, hurts, even though I want nothing to do with the male standing in front of me.
My wolf thrashes inside of my head because we know what is coming next. I feel it on the horizon, like an approaching storm. It’s going to roll through and leave devastation in its wake. My wolf is whimpering and pleading with me to put a stop to this. To stop him. To beg and plead.
I straighten my spine because there is no way I’m going to beg Todd for anything. He doesn’t deserve it, not after the way he’s treated me for years. We were friends. He turned on me. He betrayed me and our bond.
He’s not worthy of me or my wolf, but he was still destined for me and that hurts. He will be the Alpha, and my wolf was always destined to be the Luna. Now, who knows what will happen to me.
Pain radiates through my body as I try and ready myself for what comes next.
“I, Todd Harrison, soon to be Alpha of the Waning Moon Pack, reject you, Serenity Barlow, as my mate and future Luna,” his voice is cold and detached as he speaks the words that sends shards of glass through my soul.
Words that can never be taken back. There’s a reason that rejections are frowned upon. No, it’s more than that—they aren’t done. It doesn’t happen. Why do I get to be special in this regard?
The Moon Goddess only gives us one mate. Our souls are made for each other.
