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I fold my arms around her bare skin. She is dressed in pants and a band wrapped around her chest.
“It’s okay; you don’t have to answer. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Viciously wiping away a tear, she huffs. “Of course I mean it.” Her voice is hard as if she’s trying to hold back a heavy load threatening to break through her barriers. She clears her throat and says, “Since I already know that you love me, I need you to do something before we go.”
I drop to my knees with a thud, my arms still locked around her waist. I can’t resist kissing her stomach before I whisper, “I am yours, do with me what you will.” My voice is gravelly, grating against the tingle of magic in the air.
“Marry me.” Her voice is husky.
“What?” I look up at her. There’s a vulnerability in her eyes and confidence that makes my head spin. She enjoys seeing me on my knees before her.
“Marry me, Nathaniel. I give myself to you to be yours in this life and the life to come. Never to love or be bound to another. I will gladly give it all.” She loosens my arms and lowers herself until we are face to face.
She isn’t crying now; she isn’t hollow. It’s almost as if I can see her brutal, analytical mind working through her eyes.
I’m still too stunned to do anything but keep staring at her.
She continues, “My father is dead. My mother never remarried because the Winter Court Queens are only allowed to marry once. If we are married, and… and…” she trails off, raising wide, bewildered eyes to me.
“And I’m killed?” The words taste like ash as I finish her sentence, seeing where she’s trying to go. I’m not young, having lived for over a century, but speaking of my death so blatantly... my stomach turns.
Her eyes line with silver. “Yes. If you... if that...” She swallows. “I would never be subjected to another Henrick.”
My mouth hardens into a line. “So, you want to marry me because I will die.”
How is this the course my life has taken? How is it fair that we found each other despite everything else, and now it seems we are doomed to fail? I thought the gods cared. I thought they wanted people to be happy.
Now I know the truth.
They are cruel and sadistic, dangling love in front of people only to pull it away.
“No,” Elva says vehemently. “I want to marry you because I love you.”
“I love you too.” My eyes search hers, and I wait for the next words. The ones hanging in the air like a death sentence. Because they are. “But?”
“But the stars seem to have cursed us. Fortuna has cursed us.” She smiles sadly. “I wish... I want a long life with you. But I don’t... I can’t... if you die...” She struggles with her words. “I just love you, Nathaniel.”
My mind is torn. I think of Cherie and her new husband. I think of the years I have spent wanting only Elva. Trying to be with other people and failing miserably. Will this be worth it?
These might be my last moments with her. Maybe what she’s suggesting will help us. Maybe one of us doesn’t have to die.
Maybe we can find happiness.
“All right,” I speak slowly, drawing out the words. “Yes. I want to marry you.”
Whatever gates were holding her emotions at bay burst open. “Thank you,” she breathes a sigh of relief. Tears spill over her face and her lip quivers.
It cements the decision for me. We will probably be torn apart, never to enjoy the promises we will make, but if I can do something to protect her after I’m gone, I will.
I ignore the “gone” part. Maybe if I don’t look my impending death in the face, it won’t come for me.
* * *
After I’ve agreed,things move quickly. Elva is in front of me, our hands clasped together. Our voices are whispers, barely audible, but each word echoes like it’s thunder in my ears.
“I give myself to you eagerly,” I say.
She repeats the words quietly.
