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“Hey, I’m here.” I nudge her gently.
She has completely retreated inside of herself. She doesn’t respond for several moments.
“I—” she starts and stops mid sentences. Her mouth is slightly agape.
I want to ask her what she wants to say, but I get the sense that pushing her will be futile. I don’t know exactly what kind of trauma she has been through, but if it made her like this, trying to force her into anything would probably end badly.
Pushing aside my instincts, I wait, despite my insides screaming to say something. My head is willing me to be patient, and I choose to follow that path. Finally, she whips around and looks at me. The fear in her eyes is so potent it’s like a song playing in my head.
“I think I need to do this by myself. If they see you… if we get separated…” She doesn’t finish, just shakes her head. One solitary tear flows down her cheek, and I am stunned at how emotional she is. There are no walls, no barriers, just her and I.
The tear freezes mid-way down her cheek and falls into the snow. It is so quiet between us, I hear the tear hit the ground with a light ding, like the ringing of a bell.
“Elva, that’s not fair. We are going to do this together.” I reach over and grab her hand. It is ice cold. More tears come, and they follow the same pattern–turning into tiny, gentle icicles before hitting the ground.
She grips my hand so hard that it hurts. She shoves me against a tree and puts her hands out before her. Too late, I realize what she’s doing as thick ice surrounds me.
“Elva, no, don’t do this.” I plead, shaking my head.
“No, Nathan,” she replies, her voice steely. “I have to do this. Everyone is looking for me. The Ice Mer King, the rebels… my mother. They willkillyou.”
I call after her again, but she is already darting away between trees. Her owl form is likely to be recognized now, and I relax a little when she doesn’t even try to use it.
Abandoned, all I can do is watch her fade.
Again and again, I yell for her to come. My throat is so raw it hurts to breathe.
Tears run down my face. I might never see her again. I never told her how I feel. The dreams I had, however foolish or hopelessly romantic they might be, might be lost now. She left, and now, I will never have the chance to know her completely.
I yell in frustration struggling against the ice. I refuse to let this be the end. Pulling on all my magic, I will my body to heat up as fast as possible. I need to get to her.
Elva made the ice thick and rock solid, knowing that I would try to break free. Despite my fire, I need time to melt through it all. And by then… it is very possible that someone important will die. I don’t know if it will be the Queen or Elva.
Chapter34
Frozen In The Middle Of The Forest
ELVA
Silent tears run down my cheeks as I move swiftly through the forest. Snow crunches under my boots as I vault around the trees, putting as much distance between Nathaniel and myself as possible. My heart is breaking into a thousand shards of ice. Every time I recall how he looked when he realized I was leaving him there, it shatters a bit further.
I left part of myself with him. The good part. The part that loves.
The forest is thick and small, ice-covered branches tear at my face while I run, but I don't try to stop them. Every time they slap against my skin, whenever there is a burning sting on my cheek, I push into the fractured sensation that builds in my chest.
I deserve it and so much more. Pain is the only thing I need right now. If I concentrate, I can still feel Nathan behind me, still hear him yelling at me. The ice will hold. It has to. If my mother finds him before I get to her, I will never be able to forgive myself.
We were doomed from the start. Forbidden love. It’s better this way. At least, that’s what I tell myself.
It’s a lie.
As I run, I shove down every emotion he has made me feel over the past few years. I take all the care, the tender-hearted looks, the kisses stolen between training, the laughter, the love, and push it so far down into my core, it's little more than an ember in the depth of my soul.
Even that ember might be too much.
Helena had told me that she had found pictures and paid for them to be taken down. If she found him with me, she would make it the goal of her immortal life to make us suffer for having the audacity to care for each other.
By the time I leave the forest, the sun is rising over the horizon. I can see my childhood home. The icy spikes are looming above me. My blood chills at the sight of the Ice Palace; hundreds of horrifying memories flood my mind.
