AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“YES!!! Absolutely yes. GO!” I was stunned by her absolute declaration.
“Really?!?”
“Yes really. That is what we said we were going to do. Be different. Reinvent ourselves. What better way to start than a party.”
“But I was going to do all of that when you were here with me.”
“Listen. You can do this. Put on the gray long sleeve v-neck shirt, those kick ass jeans I gave you, and the wedge sandals you got at the shelter. Let your hair down, brush it, and put on some mascara. You will be perfect. Have fun and call me when you get in. I gotta go. Mom is summoning me.”
And like that she hung up.
Chapter Two
LYDIA
I stood around for a while as usual, feeling lost. Macy is my guiding star. I took all of my cues from her. How to act, when to get excited, and when to be angry. Everything. I needed that road map. I have spent so much time being numb and unaffected that I couldn’t remember how to be anymore.
Deciding to pretend her advice was given face to face, I did exactly as she told me to. Down to the last detail. When I was finally ready, I looked at myself in the mirror. Although I saw nothing special, I looked alright. Since that was as good as it was going to get, I left the house. Following the arrows on the ground like the flier said, I made it to the Frat house. Immediately, it felt as if I should turn around and leave. Instead, I shook those thoughts from my mind, because I felt like that was ‘the old’ Lydia talking. Not Lydia reinventing herself.
I walked the steps, despite my gut telling me to go back and not walk into every John Hughes cliched movie. There are red plastic cups everywhere and big tin barrels all over the place. If my reading was correct, those are called beer bongs or kegs or something. Looking to my left, I saw people in various stages of making out and girls half dressed. A game of beer pong and anything else you might find in a frat movie. Can you say, ‘Animal House’?
Deciding to walk further in, despite the fact my feet felt like lead and saying, ‘Turn around and leave’. I was making my way over to a corner when a guy stood in front of me with a wide smile and two cups in his hands.
“Hey. Welcome to Alpha Omega Psi house. My name is Brent. What’s yours?”
I looked around me for the better part of a minute because I knew somewhere there was a camera recording this for kicks or something. Right? I mean no one had ever come up to me before. When I finally started to feel like maybe this was real and after all I was in college, I looked at him and whispered, “Lydia. My name is Lydia.”
“Well Lydia. As the official welcome committee, I come bearing gifts.” He said to me as he offered me one of the drinks. Although I had no intentions of drinking it, I took it so I wouldn’t appear disinterested and held onto it. Taking a second to look at him as he looked past me to greet some others that had come, I had to admit that he was cute in a James Van Der Beek sort of way. He was wearing a polo shirt, some loafers, and his hair was cut down to the nape of his neck. He smiled a bit too wide for me, almost like he was hiding something, but overall I had found him appealing. When he finally turned his attention back to me, I put my head down.
“So Lydia, tell me about yourself.” I raised my head and eyebrows simultaneously. What the hell would I say? I had nothing to tell. At least nothing he wanted to hear.
“Not much to tell. I am from a town called LaGrange Park, IL and I am a freshman.”
“That’s it gorgeous? Surely you have something else to say. What about a boyfriend? You got one of those? Surely you do, right? A pretty little thing like you.”
I could feel my face heating up though I knew he was just being polite. I began to shake a bit because I felt wholly overwhelmed by all of the attention. I was ready to go and made to leave when he lifted my chin and said, “Shy one huh? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Come on. Hang with me for a bit.”
With that he put his arm around me and walked the party, smiling and talking to everyone like he was some sort of celebrity. In truth, everything had felt ok. I had begun to relax a bit, when suddenly the hair on the back of my neck stood up.
You ever get a feeling that someone is watching you or that something just brushed against you, but you turn to see, and no one is there? It was like that. Except, when I turned there was a beautiful girl standing in my face glaring at me.
“Who the fuck are you? Brent, who the fuck is this fat bitch? I didn’t realize you ate Pork.”
That was a new one. I pulled against his arm trying to extricate myself from him, but he had a death grip on me. I didn’t want any part of it. That is how the drama starts. I don’t do drama. At least none that I created.
“Alicia, don’t be such a bitch. This is my new friend Lydia.” I felt almost sick at that moment because what he said with the smirk that slid across his face, was eerie.
“Besides, you said we were through. So I can do as I please with whom I please.”
It wasn’t until that exact moment, when I looked around and realized that everyone was watching this playout like some soap opera. Feeling something bad was coming, I managed to pull myself from him. When I went to walk away, I felt this tug in my scalp causing me to cry out. I was yanked backward and when I hit the floor, she was standing over me. I curled into a ball fully expecting her to kick me since I was down.
“I'd watch myself if I were you. You don’t want to cross me. Stay away from him. Cow.”
And with that, she spat on me and walked away. Looking around me, people were staring at me with looks of pity on their faces. As usual, no one offered to help me up, stood up for me, or anything. Also not surprising, Brent was nowhere to be seen. Keeping my head down and no eye contact, I got up off the floor with my ass sore as hell, walked out the front door, and went back the way I came. I refused to cry the whole way back. The minute I reached my room and remembered that I was going to be in there alone, I opened the door, locked it, and fell on the bed in tears.
I should have known, right? How in the hell did I manage to convince myself that college would be different. Not even here 24 hours and already I am back to where I left.
I have no idea how long I laid there picturing what it would be like to not have to be burdened with this life anymore. I could go right now. At peace and no one would care. I worked out different scenarios in my head. I could hang myself, but usually those ended up with the people dead, yes? But with urine and feces sliding down their legs as the body no longer can hold itself. Nope not for me.
