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Emery was making a growling noise that, if it had been an animal vocalization, Tean would have placed somewhere on the spectrum between distress and aggression.
“Maybe you can tell us later—” John tried, stroking Emery’s arm.
“So,” Shaw said over him, “I was thinking what if it was like that. Because I cast a charm to find us more friends, because we always try to make friends and then somebody—” This was said with a great deal of eye-rolling and a fond tone. “—won’t stop talking about beers and cars and sports and he makes them watch TV for like four hours straight, and nobody else is allowed to talk even during the commercials—”
“It was a fucking Super Bowl party,” North put in.
“—and an ungodly amount of cheese: cheese curds, cheese dip, cheese nuggets—”
“Hold the fuck on. I’ve never in my life had anything called a cheese nugget.”
“—and then our friends—” There was that tone again, and Shaw even patted North’s cheek as he beamed at him. “—never come back.”
“Because the Super Bowl happens once a year, Shaw, and it’s not my fucking fault I have a job and responsibilities and—and I don’t always have time to call the guys up to hang out.”
Shaw mouthed, “The guys,” to Auggie, who immediately dissolved into giggles, face pressed into Theo’s shoulder.
“Anyway,” Shaw said, “maybe this is like the time I tried to put some tingle back in North’s dingle, only then it was too much tingle, and he thought we had to go to the doctor, and I said let’s try some ice, and then I got out the sandwich press and thought maybe that would subdue the evil tumescence—”
“It wasn’t an evil tumescence. You put a hundred fucking milligrams of Viagra in my beer and took advantage of me! I should have the sheriff throw you in jail for assault, you monkey-dick piece of shit.”
“What is happening?” Tean asked Jem.
Jem was trying to cover a huge smile with one hand. “I have no idea, but I’m into it.”
“You get used to it,” John said. “It starts to roll over you, and then, after a while, you don’t really notice anymore.”
Emery’s growling noise got louder.
“Unless you’re Ree,” John added with a sigh.
“It’s not like that,” Emery snapped. “It’s not like any of what you just said. There’s no such thing as magic or psychics or—” He tried to master himself, and in an icy voice, he said, “Stop talking.”
“Maybe I should weave a compulsion charm so that I can only speak when spoken to,” Shaw suggested.
North started to laugh, tried to disguise it as coughing, and failed totally.
“This is your fault,” Emery said to him. “You encourage him.”
Shaw sat there, looking like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, and said, “Maybe the compulsion charm would be tailored to you, so I could only speak when you spoke to me. It would work because we’re soulmates.”
North fell apart laughing.
When Emery opened his mouth, John squeezed his arm and said, “You’re giving him what he wants.”
So, Emery snapped his mouth shut, which for some reason only made North laugh harder.
Tean watched all of this like he was seeing it through an oil slick. He could sense the humor, the affection, the good-natured antagonism—the vibes, as Jem would have called them. But his brain kept coming back to Missy, to the panic on her face. Jem noticed, of course; he rubbed Tean’s back.
Auggie was sitting up, peeling himself away from Theo, when he caught sight of them, and he said, “Oh shit.” For a moment, uncertainty chalked his face, and he kicked North’s boot. Then he mumbled, “Sorry. We, uh, we kind of got carried away. She’s your friend, and it’s serious—” Then he sat up straighter and held up his phone. “You said nobody’s seen Yesenia all day? Let me see if she popped up in any of the photos I took. That might help, right?”
Tean nodded, but even that expression felt distant.
“Thanks,” Jem said.
“Could I talk to you?” Theo said quietly, the words clearly meant for Auggie alone.
“I’m reviewing some conference footage on my phone,” Auggie said. The words were painfully neutral. “That’s all.”
