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Outside. He’s taking me out of the house.
I pull my hand away, panic rushing through me. “Where are you taking me? No. No, I don’t want to go back to my father.”
Kieran’s skin flushes a deep red. After a moment, he says, “So if I offered to return you… You wouldn’t want to go?”
“No.” Saying that so easily makes me feel light-headed because it’s the truth. This is where I want to be. “Please. Please. I’ll—”
He shushes me with his lips. “No. I’m not bringing you back to your father. Not even close. Trust me, bella.”
“I do. I really do.”
Kieran’s eyes shine. “You didn’t sayI dothat enthusiastically a month ago.”
“Things are different now.”
“Aye.” He winds a hand around my waist and steers me to his car.
Calder and two new bodyguards, whom I met briefly, but their names escape me, pace in front of the guards’ booth. Kieran puts me in the front seat of his Range Rover.
“Where’s Pete, your driver?”
“I gave him the day off.”
Fear rakes down my spine. “Kieran, no offense. Are you taking me somewhere to dump my body?”
He barks a laugh. “You have an active imagination.”
“That’s not a no.”
“No.” He kisses my hand. “This is something I should have done a few weeks ago. A month ago, really.”
We leave the property, and it feels so weird to be in a car like this. Sitting in the front seat, like we’re not the mob king and queen. It makes me realize how out of touch I’ve been. After a few turns, a feeling of dread hits me again as we take the long stretch to…
I grip the armrest. “Why are we going to the cemetery?”
“To pay my respects to your mother. I didn’t go on the day of the funeral. I wanted no part of it. Being in that church was hard enough.”
“Because of Norah?”
“Aye. Even though she’s not buried here. It’s the symbol of death all around that I can’t take.”
I squeeze his arm. “You don’t have to do this. I can come back another time.”
“Please. Let me do this.” His voice guts me. It’s so hard for him to be here, but he knows what it means to me.
“Okay.” I sit back.
Kieran parks at the office and goes inside to find the location. I honestly don’t remember. I was out of it that day. He drives to an older section.ThisI remember. Gothic-like headstones and statues. My mother was buried in her family plot. I don’t know if my father still plans to be with her. I haven’t talked to him. Don’t want to talk to him.
We find the row, and Kieran stops. He gets out and opens the door for me. “It’s down here.”
Hand in hand, we walk, and it all comes back to me. I’d been here before when I was little, too. Nana is buried here.
“Shite, I didn’t bring any flowers,” Kieran says, regretfully.
“It’s okay. We just do this…” I bend down and find a smooth rock to place on the dark, granite headstone filled with names. Mama’s hasn’t been added yet. Still, it’s a lot to take in, knowing she’s in the ground beneath me.
I was so numb that day, but now I feel like I’m choking.
