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"And Theo? What's wrong with him?" Orion asked.
"Uh..." The twins both trailed off and looked away.
"What happened? I know you said he left Aslan, but there has to be a reason," I pressed, not enjoying this waiting game.
"Cairus and I think it was a vampire issue. From what Faelia said, during this time of the year, vampires need more feeds than usual. It's like in their biological makeup," Caio answered.
"We noticed during a recent assembly regarding the next semester that a lot of vamps were missing. That's when Faelia explained it to us. I think he went home to get more blood tablets, but we're not sure. Othello said he requested to leave for medical reasons which are common for vampires. Even if he's technically a half breed, bats are related to vampires in some way," Cairus pointed out.
I took a calming breath and looked at Finn and Orion. "Can the twins and I have a moment? Please," I whispered. They both nodded in understanding.
"We'll go to the house first," Orion announced.
"See if it's not burned to the ground," Finn declared. The twins both smiled, appearing relieved as Finn and Orion said a quick goodbye and headed down the block towards our house.
They both squeezed my hands comfortably, and Caio motioned to our right. "Let's go sit in the park for a bit."
I simply nodded, and we made our way over to the swings. My thoughts were all scattered in my mind while I wondered what to do.I have Hunter dealing with his instincts telling him to let me go with his brother's death anniversary being today, and Theo dealing with his blood needs along with probably feeling left out too.
I glanced between the twins, both of them walking slightly ahead, but my hands were still in their grasps.Do they think I don't love them as well? I guess I haven't been spending as much time with them as I have Finn and Orion, and they've been silent about it. That's not fair to them...
Once we situated ourselves on the three individual black seats, we were all quiet, enjoying the back and forth swaying motion of the swings.
"Are you guys mad at me?" I asked as I slowed down the pace of the swing. "I mean, are you two frustrated with me? I know I haven't been good at sharing myself. If you're angry, you have every right to be." I lifted my gaze from the sand below our shoes to look to my left where Cairus was before turning my right to where Caio swung.
"No." They spoke in unison.
"Why? Shouldn't you be?" I didn't want them not to be honest for the sake of my feelings. Sure, I wouldn't deny that I had worried about this happening, but I didn't act on it, and that was the reason we were dealing with this.
There were many ways I could have told them I was okay or given them some reassurance. Magnor teleporting to deliver them a verbal message that everything was okay wasn't enough.
I could have written a letter to each of them and explained the situation without giving away any critical information. Or I could have sent Arielle to check in too. Would they have been more reassured if I sent her instead of Magnor going?
"Cutie Pie," Caio whispered. "We aren't mad at you. We get it."
"But...how do I know for sure? I'm sorry if I'm a bundle of nerves and stupidity, but I'm second guessing everything because I knew I wasn't doing a good job juggling everyone. I told Orion about it too...I just. I don't know. I felt like when I came back I could pick back up with how everything was in our relationship and everything would have been okay?" I confessed, needing to have some type of outlet, and I knew the twins wouldn't judge me for overreacting.
"I'm not like this because I'm afraid of you being angry with me. I'm panicking and afraid because I don't want to fuck this up. I care for each of you, but with everything that happened and what's still going on, I'm just overwhelmed. It's hard for me to talk about these things with all of you because...I'm not at that level yet?" I tried to explain.
I looked between the guys on either side and sighed. "I'm not saying I wouldn't tell either of you stuff, it's just..." I sighed again and gave up trying to find some explanation. It was already hard enough to think straight with all the worry coursing through me and then try to explain why I'd felt more comfortable with Orion and Finn versus the others.
Cairus got off his swing walked over to me. He knelt down before me and reached out to my hands that were now settled on my lap to hide their trembling thanks to my pent-up nerves.
"Dearest, we get it. None of us expect you to come to all of us when you're dealing with something and need someone to talk to. We don't want you to come to us because you feel obligated to. We'd rather you do what you just did because you want to talk about something that's lingering in your mind."
I looked into his bright blue eyes, and he continued. "When we heard about the Blessed mark, we were just a little taken aback. However, we figured you and the others must have found out exactly what it was recently, or at least Finn and Theo. Orion is pretty knowledgeable, so I wouldn't be surprised if he did know what it was but wanted to tell you alone first."
Caio hopped off the swing mid-air and landed with ease onto the sand. He walked over to stand next to his brother who still knelt before me. He crouched and patted our joint hands, leaving his on top.
"Cutie Pie. Cairus and I are patient. Tiger shifters like to analyze and get to know their mate from afar before approaching them. We both love you, and we understand that you're overwhelmed. We can tell you try to spend time with all of us. With classes and training grouping us all over the place, and the small amount of time we have after classes are over, we get that we aren't going to spend a day a week with you."
"It would be a silly expectation to have because this isn't a lifestyle that is steady. We've all been prepared for Aslan's craziness, but I don't think we expected it to be as crazy as what we've experienced so far and that's not anyone's fault. Not yours, or ours, or any of the other guys. It's not even your dad's fault," Cairus noted.
"Everything that is happening is due to something going on with Mother Nature, and no one can determine which path anything is going to take. What we CAN do, is brace ourselves for whatever changes are to come and communicate which is what we're doing right now. Hunter and Theo weren't necessarily raised in a family or home where they got that reassurance. Tiger shifters understand that not everything is a race and there could be a reason to everything," Caio confirmed.
I looked between the two of them and gave them a worried expression. "Then you're honestly not mad. Are you both okay with waiting a little longer? I don't know what to do right now. Hunter needs me, but so does Theo. I don't want to push you two to the side either. I don't want to neglect anyone, and if I spend too much time sorting everything out, then Finn and Orion may get concerned." I sighed, lowering my head.
"How do I fix this because I'm clueless. I’ve never dealt with this before, and it scares me because I'm...happy? I'm happy to have men in my life who care dearly for me compared to when I had no one. I just want to make everything better."
