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I make this vow to myself over and over again throughout the night. The moon rises and then sinks again, and I only slip away when sunlight starts to ripple and stretch over the horizon.
18
NEVEAH
Istill don’t really know anything about him.
I realize this quickly enough. I may know Luocre’s name now, and I might know that he is Rhiucra’s brother now, and I might know that he is more important in the Ilnais family than I first thought.
But I don’t really know anything about him.
I don’t know how old he is. I don’t know what he does for a living. He must do something because he spends very little time at home, at the Ilnais estate.
I also don’t know why he is the way he is. Which is, I think, the biggest mystery of it all.
I know that I will never be able to ask Luocre.
“There is only one person who can give me the information I need,” I say to myself as I walk into the kitchen and collect my cleaning supplies for the day. “Rhiucra.”
I know that there is a large possibility that Rhiucra is still upset about our interaction last night, but I don’t have time to wait for him to get over it.
New zagfers have been hired, so my workload is smaller today. I decide to start on the second floor, on the off chance that I might bump into Rhiucra because I know he has moved into a bedroom there from the manor.
Probably because of Luocre,I think to myself, and I cannot help but smile at Rhiucra’s unabashed cowardice.
I still don’t understand why everyone treats Luocre the way they do. I don’t know why the servants fled at the sight of him, or why Rhiucra and their mother hate Luocre as much as they do.
It is slightly baffling, and that is why I need to know more about Luocre. I need to know what he possibly could have done that is so bad that he has disrupted an entire household, simply by coming home.
I start to clean on the second floor of the main mansion, and I go in and out of every room, hoping to meet Rhiucra ‘accidentally’.
Eventually, I realize that he isn’t there at all, and I go back downstairs, where I fetch the cleaning supplies for the courtyard.
My day is filled with scrubbing, brushing, sweeping, and washing.
It is only when I am coming back from hanging up some laundry, arms aching, that I see Rhiucra.
I tilt my head to the side as I examine his behavior. He is standing outside the kitchen doors, shifting every so often on his feet.
There is a look of anxiety on his face that clears slightly when he turns and sees me. He looks almost relieved to see me, and he rushes towards me.
“Can we talk?” he asks me. I nod and suppress a smile. I am getting exactly what I wanted, and he doesn’t even know it.
“Yes,” I say. “Of course.”
“Okay, come with me.” He leads me to a small garden behind the manor he should be sharing with Luocre. I see that a small table and two chairs have been set up, along with a teapot, cups, and some finger foods.
My stomach turns slightly at the sight before me. It is very obviously a date, and I restrain myself from rolling my eyes and sighing out loud.
It seems that Rhiucra is determined to not give up on the idea of us. No matter how many times I make it clear that I am not interested.
However, I am going to go along with it for now, because I need information on Luocre, and I am determined to get the knowledge I want in whatever way possible.
“I just wanted to apologize,” Rhiucra starts off by saying. I sit down in the chair opposite his. I don’t help myself to any of the food or the tea. I don’t need him to think I am enjoying myself.
“I know that I should not have kept all the secrets I did. The truth is, I was just trying to protect you. You don’t understand the situation that I am in. But nevertheless, I don’t want to lose our friendship or the possibility of…anything more one day?”
He ends the sentence with a question and looks up at me from underneath his eyelashes.
