AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Stay…?” she repeated cautiously, as if it were a word she didn’t know, a concept she hadn’t come across before, and really, she supposed she hadn’t. She’d been planning on visiting more often regardless, not that she felt like telling Ben that now, but…
“Yes, stay.” Ben poured out two cups of tea so strong it practically looked like coffee. He poured two large spoonfuls of sugar in his and then pushed the bowl towards her before adding a splash of milk. “Stay at the farm. For a while.”
“I’m here till Friday—”
“You know that’s not what I mean, Rachel.”
“What do you mean, then?” Rachel asked. Here came the edge in her voice, but really, why was Ben telling her what to do? “Why, exactly,” she asked, “are you involving yourself so much?”
“Because I’m concerned about Harriet. She’s been holding the bag for the last twelve years—”
“Whatbag, exactly?” Rachel interjected, her voice rising. “Just because she stayed here doesn’t mean she was forced to. And I have come back, you know. Sometimes.”
Ben gave her a look like she was being dumb, and shewasn’t. She knew she wasn’t.
“She was just supposed to leave your dad all on his own?” he said disbelievingly, and Rachel gritted her teeth.
“Yes, because he’s an adult. Children grow up and leave home, you know? That is what is callednormal.”
Ben’s expression darkened and belatedly Rachel realised it sounded as if she’d been talking about him. She hadn’t been—had she? “Anyway,” she said, “this is really none of your business.”
“It’s my business, because it affects me,” Ben returned levelly.
Rachel stared at him. “What do you mean?”
“Your dad can’t manage the farm on his own, hasn’t for a while.”
She swallowed. “He’s sold off a bunch of the dairy herd—”
“Even so. I’ve been helping out. So has Harriet. A lot. It’s time you did your bit.”
Why, Rachel wondered, did everyone act as if sheowedthem something? She looked down, not able to stomach the cool judgement she saw in Ben’s face, and broke off a piece of tiffin, crumbling it between her fingers because she had absolutely no appetite. If she told Ben now that she’d been planning on coming back more often she knew he wouldn’t believe her, and he wouldn’t be impressed, anyway. It wouldn’t be enough. It was never enough.
“What happened at the memory clinic, anyway?” Ben asked after a moment. “You went this afternoon, right?”
“Yes.” She took a deep breath, steadying herself, because as annoyed as she was, she also felt suddenly near tears, and the last thing she wanted to show Ben was that kind of weakness. “He’s been recommended for an MRI, but the specialist didn’t seem to think he had Alzheimer’s.”
“She said so?”
Rachel shrugged, risking a look up. “No, but that was the sense I got, although…” She hesitated. “He passed everything except he forgot the word for keys. So who knows, really.” A sigh escaped her, long and defeated. She’d left the appointment feeling almost as optimistic as her dad had been, but maybe that was just wishful thinking.
“When’s the MRI?” Ben asked.
“It hasn’t been scheduled yet.” She took a breath, bracing herself to tell him that he could butt out now, but she realised she didn’t have the strength at the moment. She still felt appallingly close to tears, although she was pretty sure she was hiding it well enough for Ben not to notice. “So what are you suggesting, Ben?” she asked instead. “How long do you expect me to stay and ‘do my bit’, because I do have a job, you know? A flat. A life.” Not really so much the life, but he certainly didn’t need to know that.
Ben gave her a long, level look as he raised his mug to his lips, took a sip, and then put it down again. “As long as it takes,” he said in a tone that brooked no argument.
Chapter Five
“As long asit takes?” Rachel’s voice both rose and trembled. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Your dad might not have Alzheimer’s, but something’s clearly going on,” Ben replied in the same steady voice. “The things he can’t remember, his balance being off…he’s fallen a few times, not that he wants anyone to know, but I’ve seen.”
Rachel closed her eyes briefly, not liking to think about those hard facts. “And you don’t think Harriet can handle it?” she asked.
“Harriet has handled everything so far, but she’s trying to live her own life too, you know, not that she’s had much chance.”
There was an accusatory note in his voice that made her feel like shrieking. “That’s not my fault,” she said as calmly as she could.
