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“Yes, coming!” She spritzed a bit of perfume on her throat and wrists and ran her fingers through her hair.
You can do this, she told herself, giving her reflection a final once-over, steely smile in place.
Nathan was standing by the front door, jangling the keys in his pocket as Sarah came downstairs. His gaze flicked over her once, but he made no comment, and she told herself not to be disappointed. She hadn’t made that much of an effort, after all.
“Let me just say goodbye to the kids,” she said brightly, and Nathan shrugged his assent.
Owen was in the family room, fingers jabbing at a game controller while the TV screen was a blur of animated movement.
“Only half an hour more,” Sarah told him, to which he grunted in reply.
She turned to Mairi, who was sitting at the kitchen, a mountain of textbooks and revision guides surrounding her.
“Mairi, you’ve been going at it for a couple of hours now,” Sarah said gently, resting one hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Maybe give yourself a bit of a break?”
“I still have my maths homework,” Mairi replied with a shake of her head, twitching her shoulders so Sarah’s hand fell away. “And we have our mock exams nextmonth, Mum.”
“I know, but there is all of half-term—”
“Jess and I are running crafts every afternoon at the inn for half-term,” Mairi cut her off. “I’m not going to haveanytime.”
“Sarah!” Nathan called again.
“All right, then,” Sarah told her daughter as mildly as she could. “I’m just worried for you, that’s all.”
Mairi didn’t reply, and Sarah decided to leave it for now.
She hurried back to Nathan, giving him a smile that he returned, at least, although it was little more than a lip curl. Never mind. They’d reconnect in the pub, over a bottle of wine and a shared brie en croute, the fire crackling away, the lights low, the mood intimate.
“I’m worried Mairi’s hitting the books too hard,” she confided once they were driving toward Llandrigg. “She’s studying all the time, and she seems so stressed about it. More than she usually is.”
Nathan shrugged, his gaze on the road. “A little stress doesn’t hurt anyone, and it will motivate her to do well.”
“But it’s only October,” Sarah protested, keeping her voice mild. “She can’t keep up that level of anxiety for another seven or eight months, can she?”
“Maybe she won’t.”
He sounded so unconcerned that Sarah struggled not to feel stung. When had he stopped seeming interested in his own children? Or was she being too harsh? Nathan had a point, after all; stress had motivated Mairi in the past. She was, like her parents, a high achiever. Sarah had always been proud of that, as had Nathan, so why was it now giving her cause for concern?
“I can’t remember the last time we went out,” she remarked, deciding to change the subject.
Nathan’s mouth tightened. “You know I’ve been busy.”
Briefly, Sarah closed her eyes. They weren’t even at the pub yet and already the conversation was starting to veer off track. “I didn’t mean it as an accusation,” she replied lightly. “Just that I’m looking forward to it.”
“Mmm.”
She’d wait until they were at the pub, Sarah decided, seated at a table, starting to relax. Then they’d talk. She’d make sure of it.
Ten minutes later, that was exactly where they were—seated at a cozy table for two by the fire, just as Sarah had asked when she’d made the reservation. She’d ordered a glass of Pinot Grigio, Nathan a beer, and the lighting was low, the smell of good food and woodsmoke from the fire pleasant, and despite the tension still knotting her shoulder blades over the state of her marriage, Sarah was hopeful they could enjoy the evening.
“This is nice, isn’t it?” she commented, gazing around the pub with its smoke-stained beams, wooden floor and fairy lights strung about. She turned back to Nathan, her heart sinking to see he was actually on his phone, scrolling with a sort of weary indifference. “Nathan.” Her voice came out sharply, and despite the irritation she saw flash on his face, she knew she was not going to back down. Maybe that had been part of the problem; Nathan had become used to this new, strangely submissive Sarah. Well, not right now. “We’re out together for a meal. Why are you on your phone?”
“Sorry,” he said, and with seeming reluctance he slid his phone back into his pocket. “What do you want to talk about?”
And now she felt completely tongue-tied. She’d wanted to be honest tonight, Sarah reminded herself, so maybe that was what she needed to be. No more tiptoeing around the truth, whatever it was. She’d just up and say it. The thought made her heart start to pound, and she reached for her wine, took a fortifying sip.
“What’s really going on, Nathan?” she asked quietly as she put her glass back down on the table.
