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“I don’t even know why we’re here,” Owen mumbled, sounding more scared than annoyed.
Again, Gwen’s heart ached for her two grandchildren. Even if Sarah hadn’t yet told them what had happened with Nathan tonight, they must have guessed the gist of what was going on.
“That’s great,” Ellie replied, injecting an enthusiasm into her voice that Gwen was thankful for. “Jess will be thrilled! And Ben, too. Why don’t you both head upstairs?”
“I think I will, too,” Sarah said. She was gray-faced with exhaustion. “I’ll have to sleep in one of the guest rooms… sorry about that, Ellie.” She practically swayed on her feet. “I’ll try not to mess anything up.”
“That’s totally fine,” Ellie assured her. “The guests aren’t coming for weeks, anyway. You can be our guinea pig! Let me know how the experience is, whether the room needs any more finishing touches.” She paused before adding a bit apologetically, “That is, if you want to. No pressure, of course.”
“Thanks,” Sarah replied briefly. She glanced at Owen and Mairi. “Shall we go up, guys?”
As the three of them headed upstairs, Ellie glanced questioningly at Gwen. “Did Nathan…” she began, only to trail off uncertainly.
“You might know more than I do,” Gwen replied. “Where’s Matthew?”
“He got a call from New York ten minutes ago,” Ellie replied, trying to sound matter-of-fact, but with a bit of a wobble in her voice. “He’s taking it upstairs.”
Gwen’s breath caught. So much was happening all at once! “Oh, Ellie…”
“I don’t know what to think about any of it,” Ellie confessed on a sigh. “And so, I haven’t been thinking about it all. Not the most sensible option, I know.”
“Maybe themostsensible,” Gwen returned. “A body—and a brain—can only take so much. Sometimes it’s better not to try to tackle everything emotional all at once.” She thought, briefly, of the disappointment she’d felt about John. He hadn’t emailed since he’d returned home, which was over a week ago now. The worst part was, she wasn’t even that surprised. It was something she’d been trying not to think about, what with everything else going on.
“Poor Sarah,” Ellie said quietly. “She told me Nathan had moved out a couple of weeks ago, but then didn’t seem to want to talk about it after that.”
“No, she hadn’t said a word of any of it to me, really, until tonight.”
Should she have pushed Sarah to share more? Gwen wondered. She’d felt pretty pushy, already.
No, she decided, Sarah had to handle this in her own way, in her own time. What was important was that her family was there for her when she needed them to be… and they would be.
Gwen woke early the next morning, her mind already buzzing before she’d so much as climbed out of bed. She’d gone to bed before she’d heard about Matthew’s call with New York, and when she’d checked on Sarah before she’d turned in herself, her daughter had already fallen asleep. She’d looked completely drained, curled up on her side under the cover, her hands palm up by her face. Gwen had crept in and tucked the duvet a bit more closely around her shoulder. You never stopped being a mother.
Now she was determined to make a fry-up to end all fry-ups, plus the American accoutrements—pancakes, maple syrup, even ice cream, as she’d said to Mairi. As she came into the kitchen, Daisy clambered up from her bed by the Aga and went to sniff her slippers.
“Well, hello there,” Gwen said, reaching down to stroke the puppy, only to stiffen in surprise when she heard her daughter reply.
“Good morning.”
“Sarah!” Gwen pressed her hand to her heart. “I didn’t see you there.”
“Sorry to startle you.” Sarah was sitting at the kitchen table, huddled in a fleece and pajamas, a cup of coffee in front of her.
“You couldn’t sleep?” Gwen surmised gently, and Sarah nodded.
“My mind keeps going around in circles.” She glanced at her mother, her face full of confusion, possessing a vulnerability Gwen hadn’t seen her daughter reveal in a very long while, if ever. “Mum, I don’t know what to do.”
Slowly, Gwen lowered herself into a chair opposite Sarah’s. “Well, you don’t need to decide everything today,” she said reasonably. Her heart ached for her daughter, but she was determined to be practical… as Sarah so often was. “In fact, you don’t need to decideanythingtoday. We’re having a day off, aren’t we? No school, no stress.”
“I’m meant to go into work…”
“You never take sick days,” Gwen reminded her. “Maybe take one today.”
“Maybe,” Sarah agreed with a small smile, before her face crumpled. She put her hands up to hide her expression, her shoulders shaking for a moment before she took a steadying breath. “It’s not even a surprise,” she told Gwen when she’d recovered herself a bit. “Which is awful, really. I’ve been dreading something like this happening for months.”
“I’m so sorry, darling.”
“Weirdly, though,” Sarah continued, picking up her coffee cup and cradling it between her hands, “it’s also something of a relief. I’m not even sure why. Maybe because I hated being in this limbo of not knowing. At least now I know.”
