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How was she supposed to answer that?
“Yes, we can think about it,” she said a bit faintly. This still felt as if it were happening so very fast. Their guests were arriving in a few days, and yet their minds were full of January in New York. It felt nearly impossible to span the two.
“If we move to New York,” Ava asked in her sweet, piping voice, “what will happen to the inn?”
Matthew gave Ellie a guilty look. They hadn’t addressed the inn at all in their conversation, and they really should have. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Maybe it will close. Or maybe it will stay open—”
“Aunt Sarah could help run it,” Jess suggested suddenly. “She was talking about leaving her job and doing something else.”
“Was she?” This was news to Ellie, although, of course, she knew Sarah was going through somewhat of a reinvention. “Did she tell you that?”
“Yeah, when we came over the other day. She said she’d like to do something really different, but she had no idea what it would be.”
“Well, that’s interesting…” Matthew mused, and Ellie could tell from the gleam in his eyes that he saw a very neat solution in the making.
Ellie just wasn’t sure whether she felt the same way.
“That went well,” Matthew told her later, when the kids were in bed and they were in the sitting room, having a glass of wine by the fire, the lights of the Christmas tree twinkling merrily. Gwen had gone to bed too, and the evening was quiet and peaceful, the air outside cold and still. They’d been predicted a dusting of snow, which would be perfect for Christmas. “Don’t you think it did?” he prompted.
“You mean with the kids? Yes, better than I thought,” Ellie admitted. As she had settled onto the sofa, she’d gazed around the room with a rush of satisfaction at how cozy and welcoming it looked, but now she felt the familiar churn of anxiety as she thought about the future. “Although you know how changeable they can be, at their age. Tomorrow they might be saying something completely different.”
“Yes, they might be,” Matthew agreed. “We’ll just have to take it day by day, but it felt like a good beginning.”
“Yes, it did.” If a good beginning was their kids being excited about moving to New York.
“What about you?” Matthew asked seriously. “Are you coming round to the idea?”
She sighed. “That’s what it feels like,” she told him. “Like something I have tocomeroundto.”
Matthew winced. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that in a pejorative way—”
“I know. It’s just… it’s still hard for me. I’m scared to start over, to make new friends, to leave behind what is familiar. I was scared before, when we left Connecticut, and I’m scared now.”
“But if you’ve done it once so successfully, you know you can do it again,” Matthew told her with a smile.
“Yes, but there’s no Bluebell Inn to rescue and organize my life around in Manhattan,” Ellie replied wryly. What would she do without the inn?
“No, but there are plenty of literacy charities you could work for,” Matthew answered. “That was something you were passionate about. I know you’ve made the inn your own, Ellie, truly, and I’m so grateful you did, but it was more my project than yours, at the start. Maybe it’s time for you to have your own career aspirations back.”
Ellie narrowed her eyes playfully at him—at leastmostlyplayfully. “Are you just saying that to make moving sound more appealing?”
“Well, maybe,” Matthew admitted with a laugh. “But I mean it, too. Ava’s in school now, your life could really open up. You put your career on hold for a long time.”
“That’s true.” It was something she’d never really thought about while in Llandrigg, because she hadn’t been able to think about it. There had simply been no opportunities. But now… for a second, she let herself picture it. Living in an apartment in the city, working at a charity, a totally different life than what she had now. She’d always loved the buzzy feel of Manhattan; she and Matthew had lived there for a couple of years before they’d had kids and made the expected pilgrimage to the suburbs. Could they do it again? Did she want to?
For the first time, a small smile curved her lips at the thought.
“I’ll think about it,” she told Matthew, only to have him rise from the sofa, a look of amazement on his face, as he pointed to the window.
“Snow,” Matthew said.
Ellie turned, surprised and pleased to see thick, downy snowflakes drifting past the window and it felt like a benediction. Their guests would have a white Christmas, after all. As for after that… who knew what would happen? But Ellie suddenly felt excited by the prospect.
CHAPTER20
SARAH
Unexpected snowstorms have blizzarded South Wales and cut off several villages from sources of electricity and water, leaving many in peril for the entire holiday season. Government sources say the disruption may last all the way through Christmas…
