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I nodded. “Sounds good.”
“Oh, and True?”
“Yeah?”
“Congrats mate.” He grinned at me. “Better you than me.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I knew a lot of the guys felt like that, but I didn’t. I glanced at Zen, and he gave me a knowing look. He didn’t either.
It was starting to sink in that this was really happening. I was going to have a kid, and I was surprised to feel nothing but excited at the idea. Amara had given me the greatest gift I’d ever receive, and there was nothing I wanted more than for her to be the one I experienced it with. My plans were all falling into place. Now I just needed to convince her I could be the one to love and protect her and our baby for the rest of our lives. I needed to figure out how to do it and fast.
Thankfully by the time evening rolled around, my nausea seemed to subside. Feeling like hurling all morning and afternoon was no picnic. It'd been almost a week since I found out I was pregnant, and I felt more zombie than human. A zombie who puked her guts out at random intervals throughout the day. But then the night would come. Ah, blessed night.
At night I could eat almost anything I wanted. I still couldn't handle coffee, and apparently, this baby thought seafood was the worst thing ever. But give me anything else, and I was a happy camper.
True had been coming over before I woke up every morning and crawling into bed with me. He wanted to be here to hold my hair when I inevitably had to run to the bathroom to throw up the non-existent contents of my stomach every morning.
I had to applaud his commitment to being in this with me so completely. It made me fall for him just a little bit every morning, those few minutes where I'd wake up with his arms around me, his chest to my back before the nausea hit, and I had to tear myself away.
I wanted to keep my guard up with him. I really did. I tried damnit. But he smelled so good, and his body was so warm and hard, and he was just so damn sweet. The concerns I had about us being together hadn't gone away, but he was chipping away at my resolve little by little.
I knew I needed to get back to work at some point, but I wasn't ready to give up the little bubble True and I existed in right now. I was lucky, though. I headed a team of software engineers for a huge app development company, and I could work remotely pretty much as often as I needed to. I loved my job and had worked damn hard to get to where I was.
My parents wanted me to become a doctor, but fuck that. I couldn't handle blood, and blood was one of the least disgusting things you had to deal with as a doctor. Nope. Instead of heading to Harvard and hitting up med school like my parents wanted, I fled to MIT. I loved how writing code was like solving a puzzle, figuring out how it all perfectly fit together to make the whole process work.
I graduated with my master's and was hired straight out of school. Rising through the ranks hadn't been easy. I was the only girl on my team, but I didn't take anyone's shit, and I let them know when they'd fucked up, but I also gave my team the freedom to be creative, and for that they respected me.
It'd been hard-earned respect, but just because I was going to have a baby didn't mean I planned to leave my job behind. I'd worked too damn hard, and I loved it too much to just let it go. I'd have to talk to True and figure out what we were going to do because I also wouldn't let strangers or nannies raise my baby. I wanted him or her to know who their parents were and how much we loved them.
I braced myself before opening my eyes, trying to enjoy a few seconds before I had to run for the toilet. I snuggled further into True's arms, breathing in deeply. I felt his chuckle rumble against my back. "Smell something you like?"
"I could probably actually eat you, you smell so good. Did you just shower? Seriously, I could lick you."
He laughed. "I guess that's better than wanting to throw up when you smell me."
"Good point." My stomach rolled. "Speaking of…" I bolted up and slapped a hand over my mouth while I ran for the bathroom, planting myself over the toilet and heaving.
True followed me into the bathroom, taking a hair tie off of the sink and pulling my hair back before grabbing a washcloth and running it under cold water. He held it against the back of my neck while he rubbed my back. He really was a saint.
"Ugh," I moaned.
"I know, honey. But it'll get better soon. Just think of little P. It's all for her."
I stood up to brush my teeth. "Her?"
He shrugged, a small smile playing across his face. "Of course, I'd be happy with either, but I kinda hope it's a girl."
I still couldn't get over how excited he was about this. Of all the reactions I considered he'd have, excitement wasn't one of them. It was getting harder and harder to protect my heart from True, and honestly, did I really want to? Would it be such a bad thing to raise this baby as a family?
"Feeling better?" True's voice cut through my inner musings as he handed me a bottle of water.
"Yeah, I think so." I took a small sip of the water, praying that it stayed down.
"Think you're up for an adventure this morning?" he asked.
I groaned. "I'm all gross from throwing up. You really want to be seen in public with me like this? I might have to throw up again."
He took my face between his palms and stared straight into my eyes. "You look beautiful, like you're glowing. I'd be happy to be seen anywhere with you at any time looking any way, and if you have to throw up again, we'll bring a barf bag with us."
