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It also made me nervous about this meeting.
Shaking my leg up and down, I waited for him to get on with it. I got the sense that he was trying to build suspense but toward what I had no idea.
His eyes were bright, and I didn't like how excited he seemed. He opened the tablet on his desk and swiped a few times before setting it back down and leaning back in his chair. "I'm going to level with you. You've already got a name for yourself because of Shadow Phoenix, but you're not Zen. He's the one most people recognize, so you're going to have to work harder than he would if he were putting out a solo record."
I nodded. I already knew this. "Right, that's not news to me."
"I just wanted you to keep that in mind when I tell you my plan, so you have perspective."
I drummed my fingers on the arm of the chair, trying not to let my mind drift to Amara and what she was doing right now.
"I came up with an idea that's not exactly new, but it always works if we set it up right, and in this instance, it could be mutually beneficial. I'm just worried that in the state you're in, you might want to have a go at me if you don't like it."
Perfect. I sighed warily. He was about to suggest something that, at best, would irritate me and, at worst, would piss me off. "Let's hear it. I promise not to kick your ass if I don't like it."
He scoffed. "As if you could."
I raised my eyebrow. I had a couple inches on him, and my shoulders were broader. Sure, he was pretty built for a dude that worked in an office all day, but I was bigger.
Harrison cleared his throat. "Anyway." He picked up the tablet. "Here's what we're going to do. I have another client, perhaps you've heard of her? Lexi Lovecroft?"
"The actress?" I had no idea what the hell he was getting at or what she had to do with me.
"The very same." He turned the screen toward me where a brunette with far too much makeup on smiled widely for the camera. "She's had a troubling few months, and none of the studios want to touch her with her image as it is. You, on the other hand, have always kept your nose pretty clean."
A feeling of unease crept down my spine. Harrison was right. I did not like where this conversation was headed. At all.
"She's made a pretty big name for herself and makes headlines every single day. If you two were to start dating, you'd help clean up her image, and she'd help make you a household name by getting you on the front page."
I could see why he was hesitant to bring this idea to me. It was fucking insane. No goddamn way was I about to start dating some troubled actress. Fuck no.
I tried to reign in the anger flaring up throughout my body. "You know that I'm with Amara, right? That we're having a baby?"
Harrison eyed me. "Do you really think I'm that dense?"
I shrugged. "You brought this idiotic idea to me, so I'm honestly not sure."
He scowled and rolled his shoulders. "I'm going to let that go because you don't see the bigger picture."
"No,youdon't see the bigger picture. If I start dating someone else, I'm going to lose Amara. There's nothing more important to me than that, dream or not."
"I don't think I've been obvious on what's expected here. You wouldn't be expected to actually date her. It'd all be for show. Snog her in front of the cameras, take her out for a couple of dates, and then right after your record drops, you break up."
He was talking as if making out with another woman on camera was no big deal. Except I knew better. I knew it'd be a really fucking big deal to Amara. And not even just for Amara, for me, too. I didn't want to have to pretend I had feelings for someone else. The thought made me sick to my stomach, and suddenly I was grateful that I hadn't eaten lunch before I'd come to this meeting.
I was also wondering where I could find a new publicist.
Harrison must have seen the look of disgust on my face and decided to backpedal a bit. "Look, I know you love Amara, and this isn't ideal. But doing interviews and a small tour won't be enough. You need to get your name recognition up if you want anyone to take your record seriously. Otherwise, what's the point in putting in all the work of making it in the first place if no one is going to hear it?"
That was an excellent fucking question. What was the point? Why was I even doing this? Was it worth it?
I'd always dreamed of having the creative freedom to make my music how I wanted to do it. I loved being in the band, and I didn't want to give it up. But not having to have three other guys agree on lyrics or a melody sounded like heaven to me. I wanted to express myself using my best medium: music.
I wondered what Amara would say if I talked to her about this. Fuck, was I even considering this?
"Is there really no other way to go about this?"
He leaned back again and considered me. "You can go the traditional way, but I've run a couple of focus groups already, and your sales projections as it is aren't great."
