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“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I really want True right now.” Both of my hands rested on my belly as I tried to take deep breaths.
Kennedy smiled. “It’s good you still want to see him. I’ll text Z.” She pulled out her phone and sent off a text. “He’ll tell True, and hopefully once he sleeps off the whiskey I’m sure he and Maddox drank, he’ll come home.”
“Is this what a panic attack feels like?” My friend had a ton of experience with them, but I’d never had one myself. My heart raced, and I couldn’t breathe. It was horrible.
She nodded. “Unfortunately, yeah. But you’ll be okay. You just need to breathe and distract yourself. Hence why I’m here. Let’s go hang out with Rebecca. Go get dressed.”
I stood up and tried to ignore how hard my heart was pounding. I picked up my phone and sent True a text.
Amara: It’s gonna be okay, T. I love you. Come home when you’re ready
He didn’t respond, but I didn’t expect him to right away even though I desperately wanted him to. Sighing, I walked into our bedroom and changed. As I slid on my sandals, Kennedy walked into the room. “Ready?”
I nodded, glancing for the hundredth time at my phone. Nothing. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Kennedy paused, looking me in the eye. “For what it’s worth, Lexi is an absolute pinecone.”
I laughed. “A pinecone?”
“Yes, theworstkind of dense human being.”
We drove in relative silence to True’s parent’s house. I could see why Kennedy wanted to bring me to Rebecca. She was so warm and kind and welcoming. I immediately felt better when she wrapped me in her arms.
“Oh, sweetie. Are you okay?” She pulled back and looked at me with concern in her eyes.
I sniffled. “I’m okay. I’m worried about True.”
“Me, too. But he’s been through worse things before, and the video really doesn’t show anything bad on his part. He’ll be fine as long as he has you.” She patted me on the back and moved to let us in the door.
“He’ll always have me.” I rubbed my stomach. “Us,” I corrected with a hint of a smile.
“What do you two want to do today?” Rebecca asked as we moved into the kitchen.
“I thought maybe we could do some baby shopping. What do you think, Am?” Kennedy looked hopeful, and her eyes sparkled.
“I haven’t really done any yet, so that could be fun.” I glanced between the two of them. Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do right now was shop. I wanted to curl up in a ball and drown my sorrows in ice cream, but it wouldn’t help anything.
“I’ll grab my purse, and we can go.” Rebecca left, and Kennedy turned to me.
“Are you doing okay? You look a little pale, and you haven’t eaten breakfast. Are you hungry?”
I shook my head. “Not at all. The thought of food actually makes me feel kinda sick.”
Her eyebrows furrowed. “Okay, well, you’re eating lunch no matter what. You have to at least try.”
I sighed. “I’ll try. No promises.”
Several hours and stores later, I was exhausted. I still couldn’t stomach the thought of food, my back was killing me, my feet were killing me, and if I thought all I wanted to do before was curl up in a ball, it had nothing on what I was feeling right now. I had to admit, being out with True’s mom and Kennedy today had been a great distraction. I’d only thought about True every couple of minutes instead of constantly, so that was something. I was really worried about him.
I wished he’d just talk to me.
“Can we go home? I’m exhausted.” I sat on a bench near the entrance to the mall, resting my hand on my stomach.
Kennedy plopped down beside me, pulling off a piece of the soft pretzel in her hand. “Mmhmm. Rebecca? Are you good with going home?”
She lowered herself down next to Kennedy, her arms weighed down with bags. “Sounds good to me. You girls want to come back to my house? I can make us some dinner, and we can find something to binge on Netflix.”
I really wanted to go home, but True hadn’t messaged me back all day. I knew if I did, I’d just wallow by myself obsessing over whether he was okay or not until he finally came home. Not only that, but I hadn’t eaten yet today, and Rebecca’s cooking was always delicious.
