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We linger there a moment, soaking each other in. Building courage. Then his eyes sharpen with resolve.
"Let's go start our future."
* * *
The clinic waitingroom is hushed, sunlight filtering through gauzy curtains. A few other hopeful couples chat or flip through magazines. The anticipation vibrating the air is palpable.
Riot grips my hand tight, knee jerking up and down. I squeeze back, a silent message—I'm here. I've got you.
A nurse appears with a clipboard, smiling brightly. "London? Riot? She's ready for you."
We glance at each other and rise on shaky legs to follow her. After weeks of prep, this is the moment. Our future is about to change forever.
She shows us into a cozy room. "Your surrogate will be in shortly. Congrats again!" She grins excitedly and takes her leave.
Riot exhales harshly, dragging both hands through his hair. "Shit, I'm way too sober for this."
I chuckle, rubbing his back. "You'll do great. Just be your grumpy but secretly marshmallow fluff self."
Riot and I exchange nervous looks as we settle into the chairs. He leans in close, voice low. "You know we can run out of here right now, right?"
"I know, but I want this. Do you?"
He nods. "I do." I grab his hand and kiss his knuckles.
The door creaks open and a woman walks in—our surrogate. She smiles warmly, shaking both our hands before taking a seat across from us.
"Hi, I'm Mara. I'm so glad you guys reached out," she says brightly. "I can't wait to help you make your family."
Her enthusiasm eases some of my nerves. Riot's too, by the way he visibly relaxes beside me. We've done all the research and prep, but it's still nerve-wracking having this conversation with her.
We talk for a while about the process and what we're looking for. Mara's kind and patient, answering all our questions without making us feel stupid.
"So, you guys ready to make this happen?" she asks with a grin.
Riot exhales shakily, nodding. "Yeah, we’re ready."
We've been talking about this for a year, but it still feels surreal. We're really doing it.
Mara smiles. "Great! I’ll bring the nurse back in."
She grabs the nurse, and they walk us through the next steps, explaining the process and timeline. It's a lot of information to digest, but we're ready.
Afterwards, we head back to our place in silence. Riot's quiet, lost in his thoughts. I don't press him, knowing he'll talk when he's ready.
When we get home, Riot sinks onto the couch with a sigh. I take a seat beside him, pulling my hat off and tossing it aside so I can rest my head on his shoulder.
"You okay?" I ask gently.
He nods, eyes far away. "Yeah, just... a lot on my mind." He exhales shakily, leaning into me more fully. "I want this so fucking bad."
I smile, kissing my name on the side of his neck. "Me too."
Riot turns to face me, eyes glassy. "I never thought I'd have this—a family of my own. It feels like a dream."
"It's real," I promise him. "We're gonna do this together. We're gonna have a baby."
He nods, exhaling slowly as he gathers himself. "I love you, London."
