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My mouth drops open. I shake my head in disbelief. “That has to be the most correct and insightful thing I’ve ever heard you say.”
“Yeah? Heard it from a senior officer in training. Thought it sounded really smart, so I memorized it.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. Of course, he didn’t come up with that himself. “Well, anyway, to what do I owe the pleasure of your unscheduled visit?”
Todd takes off his sunglasses and looks at me with one eyebrow raised. “Well, this was supposed to be a random wellness check. But by the looks of things, it’s about to become yet another lecture on common sense. Two bowls, ma’am? Are you expecting company?”
My face flushes. I silently curse my little excursion into fantasy land, now that it has brought me to this. “Actually, I always make two servings of anything I cook just in case you drop by unannounced.”
Todd chuckles. “You’re still bad at lying. Getting better, but still bad. Keep working on it. So who is this for? The guy next door? The one I keep telling you to stop hanging all over?”
“I’m not! No, I… I was thinking about bringing him a bowl. As thanks for fixing my roof. But I wasn’t sure.” I shrug my shoulders. The truth hurts. I like Emile, in fact, I like him a whole lot! But I’m unsure what he thinks of me. And having to constantly tiptoe around the truth of who I am and what I’m doing here doesn’t make open honesty all that easy.
“Let me make that decision easier for you,” Todd says. He grabs one of the bowls, sits down, and starts to eat. “I’ll take some of that soda, too.”
I sigh in resignation. “It’s sweet tea.”
“Even better.”
I walk to the cupboard, grab a clean glass, fill it with ice, and pour some sweet tea over it. Todd accepts the drink and continues to make himself at home, digging into my hard work.
“Gotta hand it to you, you make a mean pot pie. Not as good as my mom’s, of course, but still good.”
“Oh? How does your mom make it?” I ask, trying to make some kind of pleasant small talk.
“She unwraps the container and sticks it in the microwave. Hey, is that oregano I taste?”
I shake my head. “Parsley. Or thyme. Your palate sucks, there’s nothing even close to oregano in this. Also, I hope you like blood.” I finally take a bite of my own cooking, and the tension of my uninvited guest simply melts away. I needed this. Really and truly needed this.
“So, about that lecture I owe you,” Todd starts, taking another bite while staring me down. I just more or less admitted things, and he knows it.
I sigh. There goes my moment of zen. “Save it. I know what you’re going to say already. You’ve said it a hundred times already.”
“Here’s a hundred and one. Your life's in danger. Until everyone in the crime ring is behind bars, your life will continue to be in danger. You need to act like that and distance yourself from others. When the day comes that every single person involved is accounted for, then you can go on running around town with your identifiable features on full display.”
I drop my fork in my bowl and sigh. “Todd, you’re asking me to put my entire life on hold for years. Maybe even a decade! With how long the justice system takes, not to mention all those loopholes and lawyers, I might have to stay hidden forever!”
“What would you prefer? Your life on hold, or your life being over for good?” Todd asks. His face goes deathly serious. I hate when he looks like that. “I know this sucks. Hell, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Much less some poor girl just doing her job who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But this is your reality now. You need to stay focused.”
I pick at my meal, having lost my appetite. Emile’s invitation rings through my head. I wanted so badly to get on that boat with him. But maybe… maybe Todd is right. Maybe going into the open water, completely vulnerable, where it’s super easy to dump a body isn’t in my best interest.
“Alright, I’ll be more careful.”
Todd shakes his head. “No, you probably won’t. But I’ll still nag you about it regardless. That’s my job, after all.” He finishes his pie and chugs the rest of the iced tea. “Well, other than that, is there anything you need from me?”
I shake my head, feeling really heavy with guilt. How can I cancel on Emile like that? I’d look like the rudest neighbor ever.
Todd shows himself out, and I dutifully lock up behind him. But then, I see Emile back outside again. He’s going over his boat, probably for the fifth or sixth time today, looking for any holes or mistakes in workmanship.
He looks up and smiles as he waves at me. I smile and wave back. I can’t say no to him. Maybe I’ll still go. I’ll just… be careful. Yeah, I’ll just be really careful. What else could Todd possibly want from me?
It’ll be fine.
18
EMILE
My face feels like it’s about to split in two — that’s how wide I’m smiling. It’s the wind in my hair, the spray of seawater, the blue skies overhead, and the boat. And Clarissa.
