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The memories of that night are etched into my mind, no matter how much I try to deny it. It was the most memorable night I’ve had in over eighteen years.
As I step into the dimly lit dining room, hoping to find my dinner waiting, I’m taken aback to see Jeffrey sitting there. The anger that has been simmering beneath the surface threatens to boil over. He doesn't look up as I enter, his gaze fixed on the table.
Suppressing the tumultuous emotions, I take a deep breath and calmly make my way to the table. I can feel his eyes on me, his presence like a heavy weight in the room. Refusing to give in to his silent scrutiny, I sit down and pretend like he isn't there as I wait for Mrs. Brown to bring in the food. I can feel his gaze burning into me, his silence louder than words. My hands grip the edges of the table, my nails digging into the wood as I summon all my strength to keep my composure.
For a moment, we remain like statues, the tension between us palpable. Finally, he breaks the silence. With a steady voice, he says, "Good evening, Phebe."
His gaze remains fixed on me, but I don't respond. Silence stretches on between us.
"Phebe," he says, his tone measured.
I look up, my gaze meeting his and the intensity I find there catches me off guard. He looks at me as if trying to decipher my thoughts, my feelings.
"Phebe, I... I'm sorry," he begins, his voice low and hesitant.
The words hang in the air between us. His apology fall short, especially after how he treated me like a mere moment of pleasure.
"Sorry? That's all you have to say?" I raise an eyebrow, my anger tightly coiled within me.
"I didn't know how to face you," he stammers, his gaze faltering for a moment.
"So, you chose to hide away instead? Avoid me like I have some sort of disease? Is that the kind of man you are?" unable to control my anger, I snap at him.
"It's not like that." He insists, his jaw tightening and his hands clenching into fists on the table.
"Oh, but it is. You can't just brush our night aside and pretend it never happen. Neither of us planned for it, and I already feel guilty for sleeping with you knowing you're in a relationship. But avoiding me makes me feel even worse. It makes me feel like I purposely set out to destroy your relationship," I retort, my voice escalating with my anger.
He tries to interject, but I don't let him. I swiftly stand up, the chair scraping against the floor in my haste.
"You know what, coming down for dinner tonight was a bad idea. I think I'll just leave you to enjoy your meal alone. Isn't that what you wanted? To be alone?"
My heart pounding as I turn away from him, making my way toward the door. I reach for the handle, but his voice stops me in my tracks.
"Phebe, wait."
I hesitate, my hand still on the doorknob. Slowly, I turn to face him, my anger still simmering inside me.
"Let's talk," he says, his voice softer now, giving me a pleading look. My emotions threaten to surface.
"Please," he adds.
I take a deep breath, feeling the rage within me gradually subside.
"Fine, but make it quick," I say, my voice now calmer. I return to the table.
15
JEFFREY
Iwatch Phebe walk back to her previous seat. I had hoped that spending a few days away from her would clear my mind and help me forget about the memories of that night. But here I am, still haunted by her presence, still unable to resist the allure she radiates.
The undeniable attraction and connection between us linger, no matter how hard I try to ignore it. Despite reminding myself that she once hurt me and I shouldn’t have let my guard down, I can’t deny that Phebe still affects me in ways I haven't felt in years.
She sits across from me, patiently waiting for me to speak, but I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve been aware of everything she’s been doing these past few days, thanks to Mrs. Brown keeping me updated.
She is right. I've been avoiding her in a way, but not because of any guilt toward Mildred, Mildred and I have an open relationship that works for both of us. I never paid attention to that aspect of our relationship because no other woman sparked my interested. However, I stayed away because I needed space to sort through my emotions and come to terms with the fact that Phebe still has such a strong impact on me.
"I don't have all day, Jeffrey," she says with impatiently.
