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“Some stupid wedding, huh?” I raise my eyebrows.
“Well, as long as no one is pissing me off, we’re good.” Her eyes crinkle as she grins. “Wanna talk about it?”
I open my mouth to speak as Tessa walks in. She appears in the doorway of the bedroom and my eyes find hers. The eyes that are so similar to Tyler’s. The same long, curly eyelashes.
I lean forward as tears fill my eyes again. Dayton’s arms circle me and she pulls me into her. I cry into her shoulder, the warmth of her embrace exactly what I need right now. Tessa climbs onto the bed and sits next to me. She lays her hand on my back and rubs slowly, resting her cheek against my shoulder.
Neither of them speaks. What is there to say?
Nothing can possibly ease the pain of being away from him.
I remind myself that it was my decision. I chose to walk away and I chose to do it for good reasons. And I can’t regret that I did it—only that I had to.
When my eyes are so puffy that I can feel the swelling around them and my lips are chapped from crying, I take a deep breath and the words tumble from my lips. I’m barely whispering, my voice coated in thickness, cracking every other sentence.
I tell them everything that led me up to making that decision. As I do, my hand creeps around to my stomach and flattens against it. Like I can protect the baby from this situation.
Neither Tessa nor Day speaks until I’ve been quiet for a few minutes.
“You did the right thing. You know that?” Tessa says softly.
I nod. “Yeah. But it hurts.” I sit up and meet Dayton’s eyes.
In them, I see pain and worry. Shadows of the past darken her normally bright eyes, and it hurts me even more.
“Don’t,” I plead. “Don’t look at me that way. I’m hurting, but I’m okay. I have something to live for this time. I haven’t even thought about it.”
She takes a deep breath. “I know. I’m just afraid for you. And him. Shit, Liv. I wish I could just reach inside you both and take away all your pain.”
I squeeze her hand. “I’ll just avoid him…somehow…until I’m ready.”
“Liv,” Tessa breathes. “You can’t. You see the doctor this week. You really think he won’t be there?”
“I know,” I whisper. “And I would never stop him. So other than baby things, I’ll avoid him. Totally. I’ll run away at the end of the appointment if I have to.”
“Bloody hell!” She snorts. “Good luck with that.”
I shrug a shoulder. For the first time in hours, my lips curve at the corners.
Tessa grabs a bottle of nonalcoholic wine from the grocery bag at the foot of the bed. “I’ve never seen my brother heartbroken. Hell, I’ve never seen him in love. Right now, he’s both. And Tyler? He’s the biggest fucking fixer I’ve ever met, and it’s a right pain in the arse, I tell you.” She hands me the bottle. “He won’t give up or leave you alone until he’s fixed you both. He will keep at you and pursue you relentlessly until your hearts are so fixed they’re one.”
“He’s a fixer and I’m a breaker. Just another reason why we’re bad for each other.”
Dayton smacks me on the side of the head and I squeal.
“What the fuck?!” I stare accusingly at her.
“Shut up! Shut the hell up!” She narrows her eyes at me. “You think love is good? No. Love is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever dealt with in my life. It will make you and break you in the blink of an eye. But if you keep thinking about why it’s bad, it’ll never be good. Stop focusing on your flaws and start thinking of the good stuff, because you two are so perfect for each other that it makes me sick.”
“But this isn’t about love.” I look down. “This is about addiction. This is about how much it fucking hurts to love him. Until I have my shit sorted out, I can’t let myself love him. I can’t hurt him that way.”
“But you’re hurting him anyway,” she replies. “You’re hurting both of you, Liv.”
“You don’t get it. I love him so much and I am so addicted to him that I hate the fact that other people can even look at him. I wish I could drive us away to where no one could find us and hide us forever. I wish he didn’t have to look at other girls for his job or talk to them or touch them!” I run my fingers through my hair, grabbing at the loose strands and tugging in a desperate bid to make that pain overrule the ache inside. “I wish he could be mine. Just mine. Just. Mine.”
“But he is,” Tessa implores. “You don’t see it. None of you do. But I see it all, Liv. I see how he looks at you, and he is completely and utterly yours. There isn’t a part of him that you don’t have the power to crush. And although I hate seeing him so hurt, I respect your choice. I understand why you made it. Now, if you aren’t doing something about it first thing on Monday morning, I’m tacking your pregnant self with an IOU arse-kicking.”
She reaches over and unscrews the cap of my fake wine. I swig from the bottle and sigh as the taste of wine fills my mouth.
