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He turns and I hang my head, defeated.
“Okay.” His voice carries, even though that one reluctant word is said in a whisper.
“Okay.”
And for the first time since Grace called me, I let myself hope that there’s a way out of this for me and Russell that won’t break us both.
43
GABE
All day, Oliver has been pacing the beach house on his phone; the beach house we now know belongs to him.
The rest of us have ignored our phones and the incoming calls and messages we’ve received since the pictures and story were published. Stefan’s been a constant presence at Oliver’s side, understanding more about what’s going on than everyone else. The restof the group spent the day trying to keep our tempers even. Jimmy, Jonas, and Tom went for a run. Carson, Clay, and Theron all used the gym. I spent over an hour swimming lengths in the pool, relishing the peace and quiet and the feel of the sun on my skin. We started off as an odd group of men who were mostly strangers to each other, but in this beach house, time seems to have slowed right down which has allowed real bonds and genuine friendships to be formed.
The house is beautiful, but without Allie, it feels empty of its soul. Without her smiling face and bubbling laughter, it’s just a shell.
It was Allie who made this place fun.
It was Allie who was the anchor.
And I miss her.
I miss the way she brought us all together. I miss the easy companionship of the other men, before the stress of the photographer’s intrusion set us all on edge.
Russell’s been in touch with Stefan, so we know Allie’s state of mind. He’s standing in for all of us, encouraging her and supporting her. She’s writing the article, and telling her side of the story. All day she’s been receiving calls from other women who live in unconventional relationships with well-endowed men, lending their voices and support. Who knew that the reverse harem ladies club was even a thing?
This morning Natalie, Mason, Max, and Miller from next door dropped round to check on us. They were so kind to offer us support and advice. Natalie brought home-baked blueberry muffins and Mason gave us the number of his publicist who he thought might be able to help deal with thefall outfrom the photos. They shared the challenges they faced when embarking on their relationship and left us with some feelings of hope. We’ve left it to Oliver and Stefan to deal with the public strategy on our side. The muffins lasted five minutes after they left!
I’d rather it was me lending my direct support than Russell, but it is what it is. If he can convince Allie to return to the house, we will all get a chance to tell her what we want.
Later, Theron finds me on the beach, watching the waves lap over the sand, lost in my thoughts. He sits beside me, and we watch as grains are pulled away and more are swept in to replace them.
My grandma is as philosophical as the ancient Greeks. When I was a kid, I’d watch her roll flavored rice into vine leaves and she’d tell me what it was like growing up in a small Mediterranean village. It was years since she’d been home, years spent in a place that was alien in its language and culture, but she didn’t have any regrets. She’d always tell me that life goes past in the blink of an eye and to make the most of every day. Her favorite piece of wisdom was to seize life by the balls and not worry about what could go wrong. Regret is harder to live with than the things that go wrong when we try. And to love. She’d always finish on the love part, but it wasn’t because it was an afterthought. It was the most important message, and she wanted to make sure I’d remember it the most.
Now, I feel like the ocean’s going to pull me away from this shore. There are so many reasons to allow myself to be dragged away by the current. Allie’s angry with us. We haven’t known each other long. There are nine other men involved. My family will think I’m crazy.
But my heart feels something new.
Love.
I didn’t understand what it would feel like to want a woman the way I want Allie. To want a woman so much that I’d let her leave me if I thought it would make her happier. To want to dive into a situation I can’t control and punch my way out of it if it would make her life easier.
“My dad’s been blowing up my phone,” Theron says. His long legs are bent and he’s resting his forearms against his knees. There are a lot of differences between us. He’s taller and I’m stockier. He’s leaner and I’m bulkier. He speaks first and thinks later whereas I spend time thinking things through. But there are a lot of similarities too. We both work like dogs and enjoy giving it our all. We both love the company of other people. Most importantly, to both of us, family is everything.
“Did you answer?”
Theron shakes his head. “I’ve never not answered before.”
I lean back, resting my weight on my elbows, stretching my sandy legs out in front of me. Weirdly, I notice I have the same feet as my cousin. How does that shit work?
“They’re going to be mad,” I say.
“Mama will clip me around the back of the head and dad will slap me on the back and ask me if she was a good lay.” Theron chuckles darkly at the images he’s created and uses his hand to indicate fucking in a way only Greeks can interpret.
“Yeah, if you go home and promise to marry a nice Greek girl.”
He sighs, the smile dropping from his expression. “Yeah.”
