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The photoshoot is painful, not because I'm conscious of having my picture taken but because it's hot, and when I'm not required, I don't know where to put myself. Callum and Liam are standing on the opposite side of the photographer, so I end up catching eyes with one or both of them way too much. Every time it's like the slide of warm hot chocolate to my insides. Every time they grin at me with wickedness dripping from their mouths, I exhale a shuddery breath. This isn't normal. I've met twins before, and they've never been like these ones. There's a synchronicity about them, as though they think with one mind and move with one body. Their eyes always find me at the same time, and they're not conferring.
When the photographer has completed all the required shots, I grab my mom's arm and practically sprint her up the path to the reception. Callum and Liam are walking not far behind, and when they laugh at something Dean says, the deep rumble hits me straight between the legs.
God, I need a drink and some cool water on my wrists. And someone to put some sense into my head. That would usually be Kerry, but somehow, I don't think now is the time for me to admit that I'm thinking naughty thoughts about the twin best men. She's got her own man to think about and a party of guests to socialize with. I will need to do some of that socializing, too, especially with the relatives who have turned up from far and wide.
I hit the bar, ordering mom a mimosa and myself a double gin and tonic, then we begin to mingle with the guests. Seeing the family, we haven't been in contact with for a while is amazing. Time slips past, and before you know it, cousins are married with kids you've never even met. There's so much warmth that my heart melts a little. Family is everything. It's easy to take them for granted, especially when you're wrapped up in your own troubles and dramas. For the first time in a long time, I feel as though my vision has cleared, and the world looks different, maybe because I'm different. It's impossible not to be shaped by your past. Bad experiences hurt parts of you that might never fully recover. They place doubts where you had none and insecurities where you were previously confident. They chip holes in your beliefs about who you are and what you are worth. People keep telling me that overcoming emotional damage is a slow process. I don't know if I'll ever shake off the scars Brad left behind. It's scary to think about ever letting myself trust someone again. I know I'm not ready to open my heart. There are still too many shattered pieces to glue together.
We all eat from the gorgeous buffet the attentive wait staff set out on a long linen-covered table. Then, when the plates are cleared, it's time for dancing. Dean and Kerry both have a fascination with 80s pop music and have obviously asked the DJ to focus on that because they're up and grooving in a flash. No serious first dance, just lots of exaggerated retro moves that have us all in stitches. Most of the guests are up to join them by the end of the first song. I'm sitting at a table, nursing another gin and tonic and watching all the fun, when two large shadows loom over me.
"You wanna dance?" I gaze up to try and work out who said it. There's the little scar, so it must be Liam.
I shake my head.
"You don't dance?" Callum takes hold of the chair next to me and turns it so it faces the dance floor, and drops himself onto it. Liam does the same on my left.
"I don't dance," I say, shaking my head again, just so they're clear.
"Everybody dances." They both slip down in their seats as if settling in for a while; long legs stretch out in front, hands rest on strong-looking thighs.
"I mean, look at that guy…" I follow the line of Liam's gaze to where my cousin Dylan is trying to bust a move, belly jiggling in time to the cheesy tune, and I can't help laughing.
"That's exactly what I'm talking about," I say firmly. "Dylan is a perfect example of why not everyone should be seen trying to move their bodies in time to music…or, not in time in his case."
Callum snorts and shakes his head, turning to look at me. "Now, I agree that, like the case in front of us, some people are definitely on the lower end of the dancing spectrum, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't do it. Everyone should do it. It's fun even if you're uncoordinated." He turns to face me. "Are you uncoordinated, Bethany?"
I feel the heat rushing to my cheeks, not because I am but because he's leaning in andbeing in close proximity to him makes my body react. This near, I can see his face in more detail; the little creases at the sides of his eyes that reveal he smiles often, and the flash of his pupils as they pick up the color from the ever-changing disco lights. I shake my head.
"So what is it then?"
When I don't answer, he leans back in his chair and resumes watching the dancing, but with a thoughtful expression on his face.
"Everyone should dance," Liam says, taking a long sip from a very pink-looking drink. "It should be a rule."
"A rule?"
"Yeah, you know. Things that just are…like respecting personal space, not burping after you've eaten…that kind of thing."
"Those sound like basic social skills, Liam."
"Well," he says, shrugging. "Maybe they were bad examples. You wouldn't say people shouldn't sing if they didn't have nice voices."
"Yes, I would!"
"What, even in the shower?"
"The shower isfine, but not in public."
"Ah, so you dance but just in the privacy of your own home?"
"I'm saying nothing." I try to keep a straight face, and when I glance at him from the corner of my eye, I can see him smiling.
"So anyway," Liam says, swiveling around to look at me more closely. "Who told you that you can't dance?"
"Who says someone told me?"
He narrows his eyes. "Whoever told you that is a douchebag, and everyone knows you shouldn't listen to their shit."
His gaze is intense, and I can't hold it because I know he'd see the truth in my eyes that he was right. Someone had told me I was a lousy dancer, and I couldn't forget it. Liam was also right that the man who had told me was a douchebag. The trouble is when you've been in love with someone, and they have managed to crawl inside your heart, it's inevitable that they worm themselves into your head too.
