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“They wouldn’t go crazy if your stuff wasn’t worth waiting for, would they?” Allie says.
“People are stupid. They join lines at the mall without even knowing what they’re lining up for! They jump on anything if it seems popular.”
“Well, if I was into tattoos for myself, I’d pay good money for one of yours,” Allie says. “And stop with theself depreciationor you’ll insult me.”
Clay nods his head in agreement, and I bite my lip.
You’re nothing. You’re no one. Just another loser in a long line of losers.The words buzz around my head like a mantra that only I’m aware of. I know I should have left my father’s negativity behind me a long time ago. I haven’t spoken to him for eight years, so his poison should have found its way out of my bloodstream by now, but it hasn’t. Everything he said has become a part of me, wrapping around my self-belief and strangling it like the kraken’s tentacles.
I rub my other arm where Clay inked those tentacles last year. I didn’t tell him the significance.
“I was always terrible at art,” Allie muses. “But my English teacher told me that I can make beauty with words.”
“Are you going to make our cock stories beautiful?” Jimmy asks, unaware that his comment makes Allie’s brightness falter for just a second.
“I’ll do my best,” she says, false sunshine plastered onto her expression, but I see the truth. Allie might not want me to be self-depreciating, but she has a tendency for it herself.
“I want to read something you’ve written that you’re really proud of,” I say.
Allie’s eyebrows gather high in the center of her forehead, creating a sweet wrinkle of surprise. “You do?”
“Yeah. Why not? We’re all here sharing our life stories. Maybe you should share something with us.”
“Yeah, Allie. Why don’t you tell us what you think the answer to the big question is?” Theron suggests.
“What big question, Theron?” She tips her head, not expecting what I know is coming.
“Does size matter?” he grins. “In your experience, of course.”
I’m immediately defensive of Allie, wanting to step in and tell him to mind his own business. She’s not here to divulge her sexual history. She didn’t sign up for that, so flipping the question on her isn’t fair or right.
“Theron,” I warn.
Allie quickly responds by resting her hand over Poseidon, covering his eyes and immediately pressing calm into my skin. “It’s okay,” she says softly. “I was waiting for someone to ask me, and not relishing the prospect.”
“How come?” Gabe asks, leaning forward.
“Because asking questions is much easier than answering them,” she says, her arms folding over her chest. That one gesture says it all. “But I know it’s not fair to expect you to be honest with me if I can’t be honest with you.”
“So you’re going to spill the beans?” Jimmy asks.
Allie blows out a puff of nervous air and shuts her eyes for a couple of seconds. When she opens them, her back stiffens. “I don’t know the answer to the question, Theron, because I’m a virgin.”
And just like that, the whole room is stunned into silent shock.
ALLIE
The truth is out now, and as I suspected, my revelation has been met with shock and awe. Jaws are slack. Mouths are hanging open like dehydrated mutts in a Texas summer. Eyes are bugging out. I swear, I think I may have garnered less of a reaction if I just flashed my breasts at them.
“You're a virgin?” Theron’s voice is comically soft and high, like I’ve pressed my heel gently against his nuts.
“How?” Gabe asks. “I mean, how does a girl as pretty and sexy and awesome as you stay a virgin?”
“Hey, guys! Did you ever think that maybe Allie might want to keep her reasons to herself?” Stefan shoots a warning look to the rest of the group. “That’s a pretty private thing to expect her to talk about.”
“It’s okay,” I say, feeling the weight of everyone’s expectations on me, and heat spilling upward over my neck and cheeks. “I’ve been busy with school and then work. There just hasn’t been anyone in my life that’s been right.”
“Sounds like you have some high standards.” Theron clasps his hands together, fingers gripping, and I get the sense that he’s trying to contain himself. His gray eyes are like liquid steel, swimming with strength and intensity. And intention. So much intention.
