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Adulting isn’t fun. It’s annoying, and it takes far too much brain power and emotional investment.
But admitting that feels like letting Stefan read my diary. Funny that letting him lick my pussy is easier than being truthful about how I feel about life.
When I don’t answer, his eyes drift to the nightstand, taking in the forest of lurid dildo’s.
“If you’re nervous about penetrative sex, I could use my vibrator on you. When you get more comfortable with penetration, you might feel more ready to move to the next level?”
I turn my head to where he’s looking, remembering how it felt to use one on myself last night. I know my body can accommodate it, so what would be the use in trying that again?
It would be the easy option. The cowardly option. And I don’t want to be a coward today.
“I’m ready to move to the next level,” I say, and to illustrate the point, I reach out and begin to unbutton Stefan’s shorts.
The look he shoots me is blazing, and he catches my wrist in a fierce grip.
“You’re sure?” he asks.
I want to scream at him to just do it, but I keep the frantic and feral part of me to myself and reply with a simple nod. Then I wrap my hand around the first ten-inch cock I’ve ever come close to, and finally get to feel what all the fuss is about.
17
STEFAN
The feel of Allie’s cool, eager hand around my dick is indescribably arousing. The way her jaw drops after she realizes her fingers won’t meet around my girth takes my breath away. If I don’t rein myself in, I’m going to burst all over her hands and this whole thing will become the disappointment of the century. I mean, sex hasn’t been this pressured for me for nearly twenty-five years. The expectation Allie must be feeling right now is humbling.
Her eagerness is so sweet, I can hardly take it.
Everything about this moment is so different from my last entanglement with a woman. Oliver warned me Corinne was a gold digger, but I didn’t see it until after I gave her an engagement ring. It took me a while to remove her claws, and once I was free, I vowed never to be so blind again. I vowed never to compromise on love because of my desire to move on to a different stage in my life.
I ease my shorts down, shifting to give her more access. Her eyes go so wide, I almost burst out laughing, but I manage to rein that in too. I don’t want to make her feel stupid because she’s inexperienced. I’mnumerouno in this strange arrangement and that’s a lot of weight resting on my shoulders.
It’s been a long time since I was with anyone as young as Allie. Well, at least nine years. The age difference between us adds another layer to her innocence and inexperience that fills me with a huge sense of responsibility.
“It’s so big,” she says with eyes as wide as saucers.
“That’s the reason I’m here,” I remind her.
“I don’t think it’s going to fit.” She glances between her legs, trying to work out the logistics.
“Don’t worry about that. If you’re wet, it’s going in.”
Her tongue darts out to moisten her lips and for a second, I think she’s going to try and blow me. There’s no way I’d be able to hold myself together through a blow job with this girl. If I have a chance of making this good for her, I’m going to need to think of the most boring things - work meetings, politics, and my uncle’s Thanksgiving lunch conversation - until I’ve sent her into the stratosphere. Only then will I be able to let go.
Not wanting to waste any more time, I push my shorts down. Allie’s eyes search my body, and her hand squeezes a little tighter as a result.
“You’re in really good shape.”
That’s exactly the kind of thing every man wants to hear. If I was younger, my ego would have swelled to epic proportions. Right now, I just appreciate that the work I put in has been noticed.
“So are you.”
Allie quirks an eyebrow. “I don’t have time to work out,” she says. “My boss keeps me too busy, but I wish I did.”
“Your body is perfect just the way it is.”
“Perfect.” Her snort tells me she doesn’t believe me but if she could see inside the minds of every man in this house, she’d realize just how perfect she is. A long time ago, I noticed that women are way more judgmental of each other than men ever are of women.
I pull a condom out of my pocket and tear it open with my teeth. “You want to put it on?”
