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In the beginning, when Theron told her about his idea, I wanted to get in my truck and drive away before I had a chance to witness all these men deflowering such a sweet, innocent girl.
But I knew I had to be here to protect her and make sure no one did anything to her that she didn't want.
Now I know the other men won't hurt her, but I worry she's going to get hurt anyway.
I worry the moment I kiss her lips and caress her body that I'm going to be lost in her and I’m not good at finding my way back.
"Russell," she whispers, making me jump.
"You're awake?"
She reaches out and touches my cheek. I take her hand in mine and kiss it. "Are you next, Russell?" she whispers. "Is that why you came?"
"No." I press another kiss to her knuckles. "Oliver's next."
"You're the last man?"
I nod and fix my eyes to the ceiling as Allie shifts against my body, pressing warm soft flesh against the hard planes of my chest and the lean muscles of my thigh. I try to keep my breathing even, wanting her so badly I can almost taste her on the tip of my tongue.
I turn to face her and find her staring up at me, her gaze flicking down to my mouth and then up to my eyes.
"Allie," I whisper, half pleading, half desperately asking her to be strong.
"We don't have to wait. No one would know."
Fuck. How much strength should a man be expected to have in a situation like this? "I'd know. We can't. I couldn't do that to the rest of them."
"Bros before hoes?"
"Don't say that. That's not what I mean. It's just there's an order to this thing. That’s what’s keeping it all working."
She nods, her brow furrowing.
Feeling her disappointment and maybe a little sting of rejection, I quickly kiss her forehead. "You don't understand how much I want you. I'm fucking burning for you right now. The restraint it's taking not to touch you, to taste your mouth..."
"So taste it."
I shake my head, but when I see her hurt expression, I can’t take it. So, I move closer and cup her cheek, tilting her chin so I can give her what she wants.
It’s just a kiss. Just one tiny kiss that spills warmth through my bones and arousal right to the root of my cock. I tease her lips, absorbing her soft whimpers, fighting the desire to do more, go further, take her with all the passion and desire I have searing me from the inside out.
The kiss ends as softly as it started, but as I pull away, Allie reaches out and touches my chest, her fingers trailing down over the ridges of my abdomen. She hesitates for a split second and I'm about to take her wrist and stop her, but then her fingers brush the edges of my shorts.
"We can't," I say again.
"I just...I'm scared to sleep again, Russell. The same dream keeps coming back to me and I hate it. I'm driving down a highway but suddenly I'm facing the oncoming traffic, like in that movie Ronin, and everyone is swerving to miss me and I'm screaming because the car won't slow down, and I don't have the skill to spin it so I'm stuck just hurtling in the wrong direction. I need something to take my mind away to a better place."
She's trembling now, the memory of the dream too fresh and raw.
"Dreams can reveal how we really feel," I say gently. "Do you feel out of control like that in your life?"
She nods and bites the center of her pouty lip.
"Have the dreams gotten worse since you got here?" I don't want the answer to be yes, and my heart sinks when she nods. "Do you feel out of control of this situation with me and the other men?"
She shakes her head, but her eyes flick to the corner of the room and her lip stays clasped between her teeth.
I tip her chin and force her to look at me. "You should feel in control. Can't you see how much power you have over all of us? Can't you sense how far we'd go for you?"
