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Silas didn’t take it out on me, but I saw the hurt in his eyes. How they treat me like I’m perfect and redeem Silas from his supposed sin.
It’s the opposite. Silas is all good, all redemption, and all heart, and I’m the one who sinned in the worst way.
The second day we spent with them was the following weekend. We went up to Charleston for a regatta. Silas crewed for his dad, but he told me the only thing he barked at him were orders.
I stood shoreside with his mom, and she grabbed my hand, saying, “Thank you for bringing our son back to us.”
“He misses you,” I told her. “I think he misses his dad too, but he’s not going to be someone he’s not.”
“I love my son no matter what.” Her eyes hid behind sunglasses, but tears were in her voice. “I’m working on my husband, but he needs time. You being here helps.”
It pisses me off and hurts Silas. Like it’s okay if he dates a woman. But not if he dates a man. Like, only half of him is acceptable, and that breaks my heart because all of Silas is perfect to me. Women or men, I love that he’s so free with his heart.
My whole life, I’ve lived on guard. Maybe it’s because I was always at risk. But every day, in subtle ways, and sometimes Silas outright says it—I’m free too. I’m not bound to him.
And deep down, I know I belong with Redix, but I don’t belong to him.
After the love he keeps losing, Silas gets that. He helps me understand that. That no one is ever truly yours.
That helped when I saw those posts of Redix with some woman. I have no right to be jealous. Redix is in pain, and I ache when he hurts. He doesn’t want me, and I don’t want him to be alone.
But that woman? She’s wrong for him. One damn picture on my phone shouts it in my ear. Why can’t I shake it? Maybe I am a jealous bitch and don’t want to admit it. But that instinct crawls under my skin along with the one I’m culling tonight.
This is my third event with Silas and his parents, and it’s a doozie. A huge fundraising gala at Festival Hall in Charleston, and every power player is here—including Senator Gentry Evans and his lovely wife.
That same lovely wife is fast becoming my friend; I’ll do anything for her.
There was finally a light in her eyes as she confessed to me days ago, “I swear I’m a woman on a rampage, and I love it. Fuck, Gentry. I know he fucks around, so I’ll fuck whoever I want too.”
“Why do you stay with him?”
We were splitting a lemon square and huddled in a cafe’s private corner near her house.
“Because of my dad. He has Alzheimer’s and needs full-time care I can’t afford. It’s thousands a month. My mom died when I was young, so it was just me, and we didn’t have much. I married Gentry right after college, and I was so naive I signed a prenup. I have no career experience. No money of my own. So if I divorce Gentry, what’ll I do with my dad?”
“I can help you.”
“Thank you, but”—Stacey grabbed my hand—“your friendship’s all I need.”
“Speaking of.” I had to tell her, not everything until I know its scope. “Stacey, Gentry’s into some shady shit. Like, people are getting hurt. I can’t prove it yet, but I worry about you.”
She was quiet for a bit, chewing on her lip.
“I sense it. Something’s been off with him for years. Like I don’t know him anymore. At first, his arrogance was cute. Now, it’s terrifying.”
We spent an hour talking about all she knows about Gentry’s businesses. The property he owns. Habits he has. My mental notes are long, and I remember it all.
That’s what finds me here. Silas and I stand in the middle of Festival Hall. He’s looking delicious in a tux, and I rented a white Valentino dress because I’m on the hunt.
Stacey doesn’t know the names of the men who pay for Gentry’s exclusive golf tours, but she knows a few faces. We suspect some will be here tonight.
And I know if I pull this thread—which men pay for Gentry’s “golf tours”—I’ll unravel the illegal ring he’s running of women, sport, and violence. I just need to find one. One man buying the trips, and then we’ll follow the trail of his financial transactions.
“Promise me, Sergeant.” Silas sways with me on the dance floor, and every time I look into his hazel eyes, the world disappears for a second. “Once you’re done being a badass tonight, you’ll let me show you some fun.”
“This is fun.” His hand rests on my ass cheek, and my short dress thrills with the desire brushing between my bare thighs. “And you’re a badass, too, helping me.”
“All I’m doing is faking it for my parents when what I really care about is you and helping those missing women.”
