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Some of my favorites I still remember…
1. You’re a clown for me.
2. Boys call me “giraffe,” and you said you love giraffes.
3. You let me put your long hair in pigtails.
4. Your smile is my candy.
5. I let you win at Uno.
5+++. You hold my hand, and I’m safe.*
*That one’s my favorite.
I waited on your mom’s front steps the afternoon you said you’d be back. I didn’t care how desperate I looked.
I was. I missed you.
You got out of your Dad’s RV and said goodbye to him. He waved to me; he always liked me for some reason.
After he left, my jaw hit the ground.
It’s like, in two months; you grew the best pair of tits I’ve ever seen. You had them before, but not like that. You didn’t wear a bra in that green halter top, and my mouth suddenly watered.
(Embarrassing confession number whatever: They fill my hands perfectly. Like they’re made just for me. They are.)
You had a look in your eyes when you saw me again too.
Something had changed between us.
I couldn’t stand up and hug you. You thought I was being a dick, but I wasn’t. Mine was hard as hell while you sat beside me, and we talked for hours until your mom came home.
My world started spinning after that.
I started sweating around you because I wanted you. And I worried if I told you, I’d fuck up our friendship.
Because I lived for our friendship.
I still do.
Finally, you suggested we skip school. I was game as long as I was with you.
It was almost my 17th birthday, and we kept looking at each other for too long. And we kept smiling but weren’t touching like we used to.
It’s like we were scared of the new feeling between us.
I was.
We spent all day on Coligny Beach talking shit until my stomach growled, then you said, “Let’s get some ice cream.”
It was a blur. Holding your hand. Ordering a cone. You found us a private corner behind the store. My heart raced because I hoped what you were planning. But then we just stood there, licking cones with our eyes on each other.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I should’ve asked, but your eyes told me to. Like they dared and begged me at the same time. I don’t know what got into me. I just coated my lips until they dripped with lemon sherbet and leaned toward you.
“Wanna taste?” I asked.
