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I don’t speak. Silas doesn’t either. We just watch while Cade shakes her head and stares at the skylight.
She has the biggest heart. Will she forgive us?
She has the temper of a viper. Nope, she’s gonna kill us.
“I can’t believe it,” she finally mutters. “Talk about a straw and a camel’s back.”
This can go so many ways when all I want to do is hold her because I feared this. It’s too much for her right now. Breath rises and falls from her gorgeous body. I watch it through her thin tank. I’ve kissed those ribs and her pebbled nipples. I’ve pressed my lips to her breasts so often that my heart is buried beside hers.
I’m never wrong about her, and I wince, preparing myself for what I regret is next.
“I need a break.” Her eyes land on Silas first. “I just need to catch my breath after ten years and let everyone take care of themselves because I’m going to crack or kill someone.”
She’s not kidding, and it hits me harder than Silas will ever know because she’s done both.
Wait? Does he know?
I glance at him… he doesn’t.
This is about romance for him. It’s about dates and new love and sex and fuck, I’m jealous for the first time. I don’t have that with Cade anymore. We have too much darkness that binds us, too.
“You have my blessing,” she says. “I mean it.” Her eyes lock on mine, and… what’s happening?
“I love you, Redix.” She steps so close she heats my flesh. “I always will, and I’ll never stop. And you know that.” Tears well up behind her lashes, and I swallow rocks. “You fought to live knowing I’ll always love you, and please, never forget it. But now, you finally love yourself, too, so you’ll be okay.” The certainty in her voice; I hear it, watching her tears escape. “If you want to be with Silas, please be happy. You deserve it because being with me threatens that, and it makes you wanna drink.”
“Cade, I’m stronger now. No one can make me drink but myself.”
“I believe you.” Tears cling to her jaw, and I can’t believe we’re doing this in front of Silas, but why not? He’s part of this. “But for the first time, Redix, this isn’t about you. My whole life has been about you, and I don’t regret it.”
She gulps back a sob and fuck me, I want to hug her, but I know better. She needs to say this.
“I’m not mad about anything that’s happened,” she says. “I’m grateful because I’ve lived for you too. I lived for just the thought of you for so many years, and every time you ran, I knew you’d come back.
“But what about me? What if I want to run? Because I do. I want to do it alone and figure out who I am without the ghost of you or the hope of you.” She’s never looked like this. “I need to let you go.”
“Candy Cade, I—” but I stop.
Because the pain in her eyes; it’s killing us, but stopping her now would only make it worse.
“And I love you too.” She turns to Silas. “You’re right. I don’t know how to name our love. And I cherish it because of that. Because you showed me I can be free.”
“I’ll never hold you back.” Silas sounds so sure with her. “It’s your life.”
“I know.” She wipes her cheek, smiling at him. “You have my blessing. You two are the most incredible men I’ve been lucky to love, and I want this for you.
“Just don’t hide anymore, Silas. You say you’re free, and you are in private clubs or a bedroom, but would you take Redix to your parents’ house as your date? Are you ready to stand in that storm and face them? Because they roll out the red carpet for me, they want me to be with you. But you deserve that red carpet, that acceptance from them, not me.”
I can’t believe it as it happens.
As Cade steps toward me and kisses my cheek. My cheek. Not my lips.
“You can ride bikes and burn pizzas with him too. It’s okay.” Her whisper ghosts my ear. Her words should be razors to my soul, but they’re not. They’re gifts. She wants me to heal, too. “Just save the ice cream kisses for our memory.”
It’s a blur. It stuns my heart as she kisses Silas’s cheek next.
“Take him fishing and make him smile. He can be your best friend, too.”
We have no words, only stunned silence as we watch her climb the ladder and leave us standing side by side.
