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You more than made me come. You made me believe in myself.
That’s not true anymore, and that’s why I run.
Because if I stay.
If I stop and let you look too closely, you’ll see.
How half of me, the part you see, the part that danced for you tonight, it looks perfect. I make sure of it. It’s my job.
The other half, the side I have to hide, it’s fucked up. It’s my secret.
And I’m scared that if you see that side of me, it’ll break you too.
I want to tell the pilot to turn this plane around.
I want to go back to your place and pick you up and kiss away your tears and run away with you.
But you don’t run. You’re the brave one. You stay. You fight.
I know you don’t understand, but this is how I fight for you. This is how much I love you. And protect you.
And I’m so sorry I hurt you again, but if you ever find out.
You’d run too…
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
It’s been a month.
My ankle is healed.
I’m not. Like the skin under a blister, I’m raw. Hurt. Exposed.
I try hiding it. Combing through files and trying to solve these cases helps. The only ones who notice my heart stunned by pain are Jameson and Penny.
Letting Redix back into my life, if only for a few days, I should’ve known better.
He’s back in LA. Probably fucking Angie. Probably holding her.
Does he think of me when he does?
He doesn’t call. Doesn’t text. It’s the usual.
And like hell if I’ll reach out for him. I’ll starve on my last piece of pride before I make the same mistake twice.
I’m used to this. It doesn’t hurt me anymore.
Yeah… I’m full of shit.
Penny gives me the perfect dose of compassion and best friend “I told you so.” The new mom in her adds a “I’m gonna fucking kill him if I see him” warning for good measure.
I half believe her.
But I might beat her to the killing.
Our history, the secret of what happened. It plagues my soul.
Someone needs to pay for it.
