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I need her, too. Not to fill in the holes that losing Callie and my career left. But to remind me there’s a lot more to live for. That maybe there’s more to live for now than at any other time in my past.
I don’t know how that would work. But suddenly, with Oakley’s fingers a nice weighted blanket on my wrist, I don’t want to return to the dark places I was in before.
Chapter 27
Oakley
“This totally sucks,” I yell louder than I’d like on account of the large, noisy fans the restoration company left for us.
Astute, high-minded observation, Oakley.
I roll my eyes to myself.
I’m rinsing out the mop head, waiting until the water runs clear before I start mopping the rest of the kitchen floor. Alec’s washing down the inside of the cabinets since we’ve spent the last half hour removing and wiping down all the contents, which are now scattered around the countertops like teetering towers.
It’s like Alec himself has had his pockets turned inside out. I like seeing all his kitchen wares. I like seeing anything and everything that has to do with him.
We’ve been working all morning, on maybe four hours’ sleep, cleaning up the mess from the flood. The furniture has been moved out and transported by truck to a furniture repair place.
And when I say “all furniture,” I mean everything on the main level, even Alec’s bed. Which can only mean I won’t be alone in my bed in the loft tonight.
A tickle goes through my gut and out along my limbs. Of course I’m excited by that thought. Any red-blooded American woman would be. As well as terrified, full of dread, and every other emotion possible.
Because sharing a bed last night was vulnerable. Like I gave him permission to peek into my life—like he saw and learned more about me than anyone ever has.
“Have you heard anything lately about those smoke-damaged rooms at the resort?” I ask Alec as I slide the mop head along the tile floor.
He’s kneeling on the floor where I haven’t mopped yet. Which isn’t advisable for his knee injury, but he insisted. “No. But it’s okay that you’re here. We’ll make it work.” He won’t meet my gaze.
I wait to respond until he’s willing to look at me. A piercing ball has suddenly formed in my throat. “It’s not that I want to stay at the resort.” I shrug. “It’s that I shouldn’t be here when you’ve had a disaster like this. It’s impolite of me.”
“I don’t think you should—” He stops and takes a breath. “It’s not impolite. My house flooded. It’s what houses do sometimes. If anything, this is an inconvenience to you.” He pauses. “Which means, yes, if you’d like to be more comfortable, then by all means, ask Britta about the room.” His expression holds a careful mask.
“You think they’d adjust their policy on pets?” As if on cue, Jerry comes trotting into the room, a small chewy toy in his mouth. We tried for the first hour or so to keep him off the wet carpet and when that proved to be a full-time and entirely futile job, we gave up.
Alec’s mouth turns up in a grin and he scratches Jerry behind the ears. “He could always stay here with me.”
Of course he could. Stella brought Jerry over so Alec could take care of him, not me. She’s probably glad for the extra set of eyes and hands that I provide, but this is Alec’s temporary pet, not mine.
“Either way, he’ll have to spend quite a bit of time alone during the day.” I trap my bottom lip between my teeth.
Alec gets up, tossing the dog toy across the floor and down the hall. Jerry scrambles for it. “Might as well try to keep him off the wet part.”
“That’s impossible,” I say with a laugh.
Alec steps towards me, his sage green t-shirt smudged with dirt, his eyes tired. “I say you wait to ask if the room is ready. I don’t think it would be good for Jerry if his parents split up.” His mischievous eyes catch the light.
“I don’t think it would be good for him, either.” I suppress a smile and return to focusing on the mopping. “But honestly, with the flooding, I’ve outstayed my welcome.”
“No,” his voice is terse, but his eyes are still dancing. “You haven’t.” He takes a breath. “It’s a free country, Oakley. You can see about going back to the resort, but don’t do it on account of me.”
“This is only supposed to be temporary, Alec,” I remind him, not mentioning that I find the thought of me moving out more and more of a righteous duty, and no longer something I want.
He tugs me close with his arm around my back. “And until you have a room over there, I’ll gladly repeat last night’s situation. Sharing the same bed.” He clears his throat, his gaze faltering just a smidge.
I take in a breath, my mouth trying to find words and failing. I’d woken up in the night to the thin line of light at the top of the bathroom door and the sounds of him showering, and that was intimate enough. I fell back asleep rather than go down that rabbit hole in my mind.
But then at some point, I awoke to the sensation that he was in bed next to me, his warmth pulling me to him, the scent of his crisp, clean bodywash a beacon calling my name. Instead of kissing him like before, I touched his wrist. No one can blame me for touching the wrist area.
