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I don’t know what I was expecting by talking like this, or even by being here. What did I think would happen? That I’d hear a voice, telling me it was okay to move on?
Except I already have.
I loved Callie. I could have been happy with her. But I’mgoingto be happy with Oakley, if she’ll have me.
Because I ache for her.
I take another breath and then step back and away from the registry. I’ll go to the family, say hello, chat for a bit, and then leave so I can go to San Antonio and find Oakley. I take one step onto the grass before I hear my name.
“Alec?”
Something inside the cavern fills up a little when I hear Oakley’s voice. I turn to see her, in a black and white dress and low heels. She’s breathing raggedly and chewing on her bottom lip.
“Oakley,” I breathe and cover the divide to wrap her in a hug. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”
She points to the small crowd across the cemetery. “Is that her family?”
I glance back and nod. “I haven’t made my way over there yet.”
She’s here. She came.
“Good. Let’s do this together, okay?” She slips her hand down my arm and finds mine, gripping it gently. Her eyes ask thousands of questions. Finally, she says, “You ready or do you need a minute?”
I hesitate, emotion welling within me. “I can’t believe you came. Except I can totally believe it because you’re you and I’m…I’m sorry about not telling you. I’m sorry there was even stuff like that to tell you in the first place. I’m guessing the gambling game didn’t help.”
“Alec.” She swallows roughly. “There are things I didn’t tell you, either. You knew Brandt took my money. What I didn’t say was he took it so he could gamble. He was making sports bets of thousands of dollars a day, and I had no idea. He’d pulled the wool over my eyes and so when I saw that you and your family played that little game, I don’t know—”
“Your feelings about that are perfectly understandable.” I move her hair, brown with golden highlights, from her shoulder, rubbing my thumb across a strand before letting go. “It’s okay. And I’m sorry. That must have felt heavy to see that.”
“I’ve really missed you.” She lets go of my hand and settles her forearms up and around my shoulders. “And I’m sorry about Callie and that things have been so hard.” She shakes her head. “I know this sounds weird, and probably should not be mentioned right now, but you need to know, I’ve felt a little jealous of Callie. Not for what you used to have with her, but that she’s still able to claim so much of your heart.”
I nod slowly, then gently take her chin in my fingers. I lift it so I can look into her eyes. “I’m glad to know that. I’m sorry, but I was stuck, Oakley. Stuck in memories of her. I don’t want to be stuck anymore. I want to say goodbye to the past—all of it—and live for right now. With you. I wantyou.”
She peers at me, her forehead wrinkling, as if she’s trying to decipher if what I’m saying feels true to her.
“I think my knee injury forced me to address this, Oakley. To address a lot of stuff. And I’m grateful for the injury and being holed up. Because then I met you.” I glance over at Callie’s family, and it seems like they’re starting to pack up. I must have been hiding in the alcove longer than I realized.
Oakley’s eyes are brimming with tears. “I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye. I had to get my head on straight so I could think clearly. And sometimes that’s hard to do around you.” Her smile is mischievous.
I sidle closer to her. “I have the same problem around you sometimes.”
She glances past my shoulder at the gathering by the gravesite. “I couldn’t let you face this alone, Alec. I’m here.”
I press a swift kiss to her forehead, skimming the skin above her brow. “Thank you.”
She pulls away from me then and we start walking towards the group. I realize she’s distanced herself from me and is slightly behind. I feel her presence, though, steady and warm. As we reach the grave, I slow and reach out a hand.
I hope my backward glance tells herPlease. I need you close.
I check myself as she steps closer and her hand slides into mine, fitting perfectly. No. I don’thave tohave her close. Iwanther close to me. She’s not a shield or a buffer to be wielded. She’s not here to fill in a gap. She’s Oakley: whole, exciting, real.
“Alec! I’m so glad you came.” Callie’s mom, Sonia’s, face is bright, her tears having given way to the laughter I heard earlier.
“Thanks for inviting me,” I say.
Sonia gives me a quick hug, and at her glance at Oakley, I make the introductions. I don’t imagine the smile of approval from Sonia. Soon, we’re joined by Callie’s father. He sets down the lawn chairs he was carrying and shakes my hand.
“It means a lot that you’re here,” he says.
