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Chapter14
Jasmine
The damn hairs on the back of my neck stood on end when I got home. I scanned the seemingly quiet neighborhood before unlocking my car and climbing out into the dark night. Streetlights cast plenty of shadows to hide behind, but I didn’t see anything suspicious.
My heart thumped as I hurried inside the house, locking up behind me. The youngest of three girls and the only one still living at home, I ended up alone a lot on Friday nights, Mom and Dad’s date night.
I grabbed a glass of water, went upstairs to my room, and texted Dina.
Me:I know you don’t think I should get involved with Micah, but he’s the most decent man I’ve ever met.
The phone rang just like I’d expected.
“Got something more to tell me?” Dina said instead of a greeting.
“Maybe.”
She sighed. “Please just be careful,” she said, sounding resigned. “I’d hate for you to have another breakdown.”
“I’m not going to.” I flopped on my bed and smiled at the ceiling. “I touched him, Dina. He sat still as a stone, holding to his promise not to put his hands on me unless I asked him to.” Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. “His shoulders are so broad. His hair is silky soft,” I murmured, remembering the heat of him on my fingertips.
“Didyou ask him to touch you?”
I hesitated a few seconds, but Dina was my big sister, the only other confidant besides Liz who was busy with her own life and Mom who would insist on going a hell of a lot slower than Micah and I had done.
“I kissed him.” Dina didn’t say a word, and I hurried on. “I’ve made huge steps in getting better. I kissed him and didn’t feel a trace of anxiety. Not a trace!” I breathed the words, a wide smile on my lips. “He hasn’t taken advantage of my forwardness, either. I’ll be careful, I promise, but I’m not stopping.”
“Jaz—”
“No. I’m going forward if he’s willing, as far as I can test my limits. I want to be able to hold Aaron’s brother’s arm when we walk down the aisle and dance at your wedding next month. I look forward to enjoying myself in public again like I used to when I was little and didn’t fear bumping into people. You don’t know what it’s like to want to fold in on yourself whenever a man gets too close.”
A heavy sigh came over the line. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just can’t stand the thought of seeing you get hurt.”
“I’ll take a broken heart if it means I can touch a guy without losing my shit,” I responded immediately.
“Broken hearts suck.”
I snorted. “Can’t be as bad as what I’ve been dealing with for over twelve years.”
“Again, you’re probably right. Love you, Jaz.”
My insides settled as I smiled. “Love you, too, Sis.”
* * *
I woke with a start, my heart pounding as I scrambled to sit.
The night-light I couldn’t sleep without shone brightly, allowing me to see into every corner of my bedroom as I jerked my head around, scanning for the face I’d seen in my nightmare.
Hand to my chest, I inhaled while counting. Exhaled through my parted lips.
It’s nothing. Just a dream.
I lay back down, still rubbing at my chest and the knot of anxiety threatening to expand and squeeze the air from my lungs.
I hadn’t dreamed about the asshole in over a year. What had brought the shit back to my subconscious that I would remember the feel of him grinding his hardness against my body every chance he’d gotten?
My stomach churned, and I clenched my eyes, willing the memories away.
