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My heart pounded, but I swallowed against rising emotions while shaking my head. “I-I’m fine.”
“You’renotfine,” he snapped, eyes glinting. “You need to cry. Scream while you’re awake. Beat on me—something! At least call your therapist like Dina has been begging you to do!”
I balked against his suggestions, clinging to the sense of security I felt by shoving all the shit down deep. “C-Can’t.”
A muscle ticked in Micah’s jaw. He stared at me with longing and concern, unlike my parents’ pitying gazes.
The flash of Billy pressing up against me in my mind made me open my eyes wider as I grew desperate to escape the images. “I don’twantto remember it anymore.” My eyes watered without permission as I relived the feel of Billy’s hardness digging into my backside and his guttural groan I’d had echoing in my head since childhood. “I can’t stop thinking about it—even when I’m asleep! How can I make it go away?” I bit hard on my tongue to keep sobs restrained.
Regardless, a tear slid down my face onto the T-shirt I’d worn for two days straight, but I fought to stuff it down. Take back the power.
I am strong. I am able to overcome...
Micah drew near, hands flexing at his sides as though desperate to reach out to me. “I would touch you if I could. Give you a million other things to focus on. Pleasure. Pain if that’s what you want. Bliss.”
He hurt. I could see it in his eyes, in the stoop of his shoulders.
I’d beaten Billy’s shit once before because of the man before me. I’d been determined to live a new life where affection was welcome, but I’d allowed Billy to once more dictate my thoughts and actions.
Memories of Micah’s arms, his gentle touch wavered through the shit in my head.
My stomach churned as I realized what I’d been missing out on the previous three days—what I hadn’t allowed myself to seek comfort in. He stood before me. Willing—always so open and ready to give me whatever I needed.
Ineededto forget. To live. To submerge myself in all things Micah to drown out the negative.
Pulse picking up speed, I slid off the bed, my bare feet on the plush rug. The fibers felt soft, a gentle caress on my soles and toes. The pleasant sense grounded me, gave me thorough clarity of what I wanted.
Micah eyed me as I shuffled toward him, his gaze wary.
I stopped in front of him, electrical charges seeming to zap between the short distance separating us. “I’m sorry for flinching away from you.”
“It’s alright,” he murmured.
“It’snot,” I insisted, my focus sliding down his neck to his bare chest. Rippled muscles made my mouth water.
As though knowing where my mind went, Micah clasped his hands behind his back, promising me he wouldn’t touch—telling me I could.
I pressed my palm to his heart, the familiar heat of him seeping up through my arm. My breath left in a rush as my eyelashes fluttered downward.
“Okay?”
I nodded, swallowing against the thickness in my throat that bore no resemblance to panic.
We stood in silence a few long moments, both of our exhales loud in the stillness. Eventually, I calmed enough to raise my head. Crystalline blue…desire…apprehension met my gaze.
Micah would never hurt me.
Warmth slid through my body, and I shuddered at the sensation of arousal.
“Jasmine,” he whispered as a tremor rippled through him.
I lifted my other hand and palmed his firm pecs. A sense of security, rightness, settled over me. “I need to kiss you.”
Micah backed away from me, but kept his focus on my face as he sat on the chair a few feet away. He set his hands on his thighs, fingers splayed. “Come here, little lamb.”
Goose bumps rose over my arms at his tone, and I moved on autopilot to stand between his spread thighs. Lounge pants covered his lower body but didn’t hide how I affected him.
Nibbling on my lower lip, I stopped just shy of touching him.
