AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Laundry spilled from my basket—clean clothes, thank goodness. At least I’d managed to accomplish that chore before the weekend had hit and thrown me for another loop.
I tugged on some gym shorts, a wrinkled T, mismatched socks, and the new sneakers I’d bought for myself at the beginning of the summer. My single splurge since I’d begun making good money at Elite.
Shoving aside those thoughts too, I descended the building’s stairs without the same jumpiness as the night before and smiled at the warmth of the sun shining on my face. At least it didn’t rain.
Dunks called out my name, and focusing on the orange and brown of their sign, I traipsed forward without a lick of my usual anxiety. A few minutes later, I held a tall, black coffee, the steam rising to tease my nose. Dark, bitter brew slid over my tongue, warming me straight through to my empty stomach.
I meandered back outside, not yet ready to return to my dingy apartment since I’d somehow managed to keep perpetual worry from taking over my mind. My home was far from the best place, and I could have definitely afforded better, but Marin’s family’s needs outweighed my own. Someday soon, I would buy myself a plane ticket and visit her and the boys in Montana. I’d always loved the outdoors, the wide open spaces.
Maybe I could move there.
That would mean leaving Jasper behind.
My stomach churned at the thought. I barely knew the man, but he’d become…an integral part of my life. A steady exhale to rid my mind of being without him, and I sipped my coffee, deciding I would stay put. Jasper had told me he worked at Humanity House, a community home for LGBTQ people in need. Talk about a fitting job—a rewarding one. I wouldn’t ever ask him to leave a job that was ten times more worthy of accolades than getting paid to stick your dick in greedy holes.
I wasn’t ashamed of how I’d earned money the previous six months, so why did the idea of Jasper finding out cause me to swallow rising bile? I tossed my coffee in the nearest trash and headed toward my apartment building, my good mood and calm state ruined.
Jasper was a kind soul, gentle and loving, but who would want a relationship with someone who’d fucked hundreds of times outside of connection and true intimacy?
Perhaps Iwasashamed—
A dinged alert made me pull my cell from my shorts’ pocket.
Unknown Number:You broke my heart by denying me. Don’t fool yourself into believing I’m done with you yet.
Hair follicles roused over my nape and arms, raising goose bumps along my skin. Adrenaline shot through my system, causing me to shake.
Me:Who is this?
Unknown Number:Your blond angel.
Fuck.
I bent over and puked, coffee and bile spewing across the sidewalk. Two teens approaching from the opposite way cursed, jumping aside, but neither thought to stop and ask me if I was okay. Not one person around checked in with me as I gagged and spat.
Stumbling forward, I hurried home, wetness rolling down my cheeks. I’d called Josephblond angelthat first night together because he loved having a pet name, and those cute curls had made me think of a cherub.
The young man was far from pure and innocent. A celestial being, he most definitely was not. He’d been spawned in the pits of hell and deserved to burn in fire and brimstone for all of eternity.
I managed to climb the stairs again without losing my shit. I locked myself in my apartment, shut off my cell, and crawled into bed, a pillow over my head. Even though I’d been tempted throughout life to drink my worries away, pop a few extra pills that would chase off overwhelming emotions, I had never crossed that line.
But while lying there all alone, sick with worry about when Joseph would come after me again, how pressing charges would possibly hurt more than just myself, I lusted for oblivion.
My prescription…
I dragged my ass out of bed. The bottle sat on the kitchen table with a pile of papers I couldn’t remember tossing there.
Tears tracked down my face, dripping onto the bills I needed to pay. I hadn’t been able to find the energy to take care of them since Joseph had used his knife on me weeks earlier. He’d gotten his money’s worth out of me that night. Whatever he’d slipped into my drink when I’d first gotten to his condo had made my dick as hard as granite and my inhibitions like a flimsy paper plate.
But had I not agreed to sell my body for sex, I never would have experienced that horror. I had no one to blame but myself.
Swallowing a sob, I emptied the bottle into my palm.
Ten pills.
The memory of Jasper’s crooked smile and tender amber eyes flitted through my mind, making my chest ache. I thought of the last time I’d video chatted with Marin and her boys. They’d gone on a weekend camping trip thanks to an extra two hundred I’d wired to my sister. It had been their first family vacation. The boys had learned how to fish, and they’d cooked marshmallows over an open fire. Being able to provide that for them, seeing their shining eyes and words of thanks—they would be devastated if I chose selfishness.
Sniffing, I funneled my palm and slid eight pills back where they belonged. The other two, I popped between my lips and swallowed down with a few sips of water straight from the faucet.
