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Zeke patted my knee and sat back in his chair. “Confidence comes with communication. Tell Mason exactly what you’re feeling—that you’re far beyond falling, that you want more than just being boyfriends. Explain how you’re hoping for forever with him.”
“I do.”
“Youbothdo. I’ve experienced that kind of bond and can spot it a mile away. Even before I met Mason, I knew you were a goner. Look at what you’re feeling like this: being the caretaker in a relationship sometimes means letting the other stretch their wings and realize they can fly alone. The beauty is that men like Mason don’twantthe independence for long. He’ll come back to you—you’re his home. His safe place.”
How many times had Mason stated those exact words to me? They had flooded me with contentment, but I’d never taken his meaning to heart. I hadn’t allowed his claims to give me what he’d planned—assurance of how he felt for me.
Mason had emotionally bared himself fully, but did I offer him the same in return? Did I vocalize anything he would see as a desire for permanence? I thought we had when talking about walking into our future together, but perhaps he hadn’t read into the words as deeply as I did.
I definitely kept a part of myself from him—but no matter our connection, the bond we’d begun strengthening—I had to continue to stifle my deepest desires in order for our relationship’s survival.
“Moments of him standing on his own two feet doesn’t mean a breakup looms in your future,” Zeke continued. “The way he clings to your hand, the things he says about you—you’re stuck with that man for the rest of your life. I would bet my marriage on it.”
Stuck. I huffed a laugh. More like blessed—same as Zeke with his husband.
“Thank you for reminding me of those truths,” I murmured. “And also for pulling me out of there before I had a mental breakdown and embarrassed myself.”
“Not a problem. Now, come on. Let’s get this shitty meeting over with so we can go back to work then head home to our men.”
A quick nod, and I stood, still slightly antsy, shaky from the aftereffects of skating the edge of a panic attack.
I had to trust Mason with his task, believe in him like I’d told him countless times I did. He was stronger than he claimed.
Hedoeshave this.
If only I could finish up the rest of my workday with the same confidence. Mason made me feel weak in a way I’d never experienced before, and while I didn’t exactly like it, I could appreciate the reason for my worry.
I loved Mason Thomson. Wholeheartedly. Unconditionally.
If having his back meant standing in place while he stepped from beneath the umbrella of my protection, I would do so.
Even if it stirred up old wounds and hurt like hell.
Chapter23
Mason
Kellen called me to let me know he’d arrived and had found parking on Railroad Ave. He told me to stay on speaker phone with him until I found him.
He leaned against the side of his SUV, cell to his ear when I turned onto the road and caught sight of him. Luckily, a spot sat empty a few slots down from him. I pulled in, some of the tension riding my shoulders releasing.
While Kellen looked like a suave model in his usual black attire, his scowl could intimidate the most confident of men. His ex had helped him hone that trait.
He kept a watchful eye as I shut off my car and climbed out, scanning everyone around us. “You okay?” he asked once seemingly satisfied that I hadn’t been followed.
“I will be,” I stated, “as soon as I get this figured out, then go home.”
“Your place or Jasper’s?” Kellen asked as we fell into step toward the courthouse on the corner.
Warmth rushed through at the realization I’d thought of Jasper’s place. “His,” I said, my face heating, “buthe’smy home.”
Kellen slung an arm around my shoulders for a quick bro hug. “I’m jealous, man. Seriously. From what you’ve said, he seems like a great guy. Perfect for you in every way.”
“He really is.”
A grin stretched my lips as we went into the courthouse, and it stayed in place while filing out the necessary forms. It took a little over an hour, but I submitted the information with the request Joseph not be made aware of the filing, which Troy had told me was possible.
An initial hearing would happen with a judge who would decide to give me the order or not. If so, the police would then serve papers to Joseph, and we would have to meet before the judge again to offer Joseph a chance to defend himself.
