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And fuck me, there was a lot of that.
Enough to make me cross-eyed and rock hard, and it’d gotten to the point where I really, really needed to figure out a way to enjoy some female companionship without the very real terror of being deported.
After Neri gave me the books and phone the other night, I’d been in the worst fucking state of my life. The way she’d looked at me? The way her gaze locked between my legs and shot heated agony directly into my cock...
I’d fallen back on my bed and fought the urge for as long as I could.
But my heart had smoked, and my blood had boiled, and I’d had no choice but to yank my boxers down, swallow my thick shame, and fist myself in the dark.
I’d come from the memory of the way she’d studied me. The way she’d crashed into my door in her rush to get away from the agonising desperation between us.
It was wrong to think of Neri while touching myself, I knew that. It only kept me trapped in a situation that had no happy ending. But...I’d given up trying to picture anyone else the day she turned sixteen. I tried to console myself with a lie that Neri was literally the only girl I knew. Of course, she would be the most vibrant in my head. Of course, she would crowd my thoughts and make every day a thirsty misery.
But if I was stronger and a better man, I’d jerk off to pictures of Rita or Molly or the many girls parading downtown in their skimpy shorts and bikinis.
Not her.
It should never be Neri who I dreamed of.
Never Neri who I begged for as my cum coated my palm.
It could be literally anyone else.
Yet I was fucked because all my heart, my soul, and my body wanted...was her.
Fucking hell, I need help.
I needed to get over this infatuation so I didn’t end up killing myself.
Because that would happen if I gave in.
If I made a mistake and actually thought I could have her, Jack and Anna would kick me out, I’d end up homeless, jobless, penniless, and be found by a heartless bureaucrat only to be shipped back to Turkey where a hoard of bloodthirsty bastards just waited for me to step foot on home soil. They’d take my blood, my bones, and my begs. Ripping all three out of me before they finally mutilated me so much, I was useless.
So yeah, even though every piece of me wanted to say fuck it and claim Neri as mine. To sneak behind Jack’s back and defile his daughter, I didn’t want to die.
Those days of wishing for death were over.
I liked this life, regardless of its restrictions.
And I liked being alive for her.
Even if it meant I would spend the rest of my days working on an ocean I despised and eventually have to watch Neri meet someone, fall in love, and move away to start her own family.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and sucked in a breath.
You need to do something soon. Otherwise, you’re going to snap.
Paying heed to my own counsel, I dropped my hand and messaged Neri back.
Me: Don’t do anything stupid, dangerous, or illegal, Nerida. Your parents aren’t there to save you.
Her reply was quick.
Neri: Why the sudden mood change?
Me: Long day, that’s all.
Neri: What are the plans tonight?
