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I jolted and saw fucking stars.
Panic filled me that Jack might wonder why Neri hadn’t gone inside yet and come to investigate. My hips rocked into her hold, all while I forced myself to grab her wrist and pull her electrifying hand away. Fear that I’d lose her before I’d even claimed her made my voice colder than I meant. “Promise me that we won’t...go that far...not until we have your parents blessing.”
“What?” Her eyebrows shot into her chocolate hair. “After what we just did in the park? After how much I want to do it again? No.” She crossed her arms. “No way. I’m not waiting, Aslan. I’ve waited long enough.”
“I’m not saying I won’t touch you...when they’re not around. I’m not saying that I won’t kiss you, but...” I growled under my breath. “I won’t be able to trust myself around you if I fuck you, Nerida.”
“Why?” she breathed.
“Because just having my fingers inside you has made me insane. Once my cock has been inside you...” I winced. “I won’t be able to function doing anything else.”
Her cheeks pinked. “I’ll come to your room tonight. We’ll finish what we started—”
“No. Absolutely not. You’re forbidden from coming to see me. Ever.”
“Now that’s just ridiculous. I’ve come to see you many times.”
“And each one of those times you had no fucking idea how close I was to shoving you against the door and burying myself inside you.” I wiped my mouth as a wave of sickness crested. “Obviously not when you were twelve but...the past couple of years. You’ve not made my life easy. Or my nights.”
She stilled. “Would you find a release on your own after I left?”
I swallowed hard. “Most of the time, I wouldn’t have a choice.”
“Me too,” she whispered. “I’d burn so badly after visiting you that I’d slip into my bed, open my legs, and—”
I slapped my hand over her mouth again. “Finish telling me that story when I’m free to touch you. Not here. Not in full view of whoever might be watching.” Dropping my hand slowly, I murmured, “Please, Neri. Just...give me time. We’ll figure this out, okay? We have to do the right thing. We’ve already admitted how we feel...the rest can wait.”
She moaned and squeezed her legs together. “Speak for yourself. I can barely breathe with how much I want you.”
“Seni seviyorum, Neri.”
Her eyes glowed in the night. “I love you too.”
“Now get inside and pretend this never happened.”
She’d obeyed me and had gone to bed, but neither of us was very good at pretending. The very air sparkled between us. It was both thick and foggy, sharp and slicing. Just being around her made my entire body hum to her frequency, begging me to touch, to kiss, to fuck.
Thank God Jack was absorbed with his news this morning, Anna had her headphones on learning a new phrase, and Neri was minutes away from going to school.
If I could get through today working on The Fluke and not give away just how fundamentally I’d changed, then we might be able to do this. We might be able to sneak around for a few months. We might be able to be together and not ruin the generosity, friendship, and kindness that Jack and Anna had given me.
Because when I told them that I’d broken my promise, I wanted it to be on bended fucking knee with a ring in my hand. I wanted Jack to know that I was in love, heart and fucking soul, and I wasn’t breaking his rules by loving Neri; I was begging him for the chance to keep her in this life and the next.
* * * * *
Neri: You’re on one of my favourite parts of the reef. I’m highly jealous.
Swiping back my sweaty hair and adjusting my sunglasses, I smiled and hit reply.
Me: Stop stalking me.
Neri: If you cared, you would’ve deleted the app.
Me: I like being able to see where you are. Least I can ensure you’re still where you’re meant to be. How’s school?
Neri: Boring. I love science. I’m in love with biology. But chemistry can kiss my ass.
Me: I’d like to bite your ass.
