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Her words struck me.
Profoundly.
Deeply.
The night seemed heavier, holier.
I suddenly felt the presence of those I’d lost and all the years that’d been stolen from them. A clawing, slicing pain rose from my belly and centred in my heart. I gasped under the onslaught. I trembled as the sensation of them standing behind me made my nape prickle and instincts hiss to turn around.
I finally understood what Neri had been saying.
How this ocean was now my sanctuary.
A place of serenity and sanctity. Where I could whisper to my dead family, and they would hear me. They were a part of the sea now. They existed in every droplet of salt and in every flick of a fish’s tail.
They were dead, but standing there in the moonlight, they were not gone.
Tears burned my eyes as I silently spoke to my father and mother for the first time since that awful night. The worst night of my life. Benim yüzümden burada olamadiginiz için üzgünüm. (I’m sorry you’re not here because of me).
A low groan escaped me as I closed my eyes and drowned beneath everything I’d bottled up for five years. Keske sizin yerinize ben ölebilseydim. Keske kader, sizin yerinize beni seçmeseydi. Keske hayatta olup bu kizla tanisabilseydiniz. Bana yeniden yasamayi ögreten bu inanilmaz kizla. (I wish I could’ve died in your place. I wish fate hadn’t chosen me over you. I wish you were alive to meet this girl. This incredible girl who taught me how to live again).
I swear the ocean swirled warmer around my feet. The stars sparkled a little brighter. And I drifted forward, drawn by forces I couldn’t control, guided by fate as I cupped Neri’s cheek in my ocean-wet hand and pressed my forehead to hers. “You turned the worst night of my life into the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’d be honoured to do the same for you, hayatim.”
Kissing her gently, I murmured, “But first, I’m going to tell you what you need to know so I can rinse myself free from this darkness. And while I talk, I want you to wash. Use the ocean you love so much to scrub away what he did to you. Pretend this is a new beginning, for both of us. No more hiding. No more secrets. Tonight is the first night of all our nights.”
She shivered as if she felt the same magic in the air, the same power and connection of life and death, beast and mortal.
Her eyes shimmered with moonglow-blue. “You...you literally just used the same words I thought before.”
“I did?”
“When I cut the engine, my head was full of thoughts. Of decisions and dreams and—”
“Like what?” I whispered.
“I’ll be your first, Aslan.” Her hand cupped my cheek, mirroring me. “And you...you will be my last.”
“You will be my first and my last.” I kissed her. A fleeting but full of feeling kiss. “We do this, and there is no one else. Ever.”
“No one else.” She nodded. “Ever. Tonight is the first night of all our nights. The night where no other nights exist.”
“Exactly,” I groaned, embracing the full-body tremble she caused. “And if you can still stand to touch me once you know who I am, I’m going to carry you to that beach. I’m going to lay you down, kiss you, and do what I’ve wanted to do ever since the day I realised I was stupidly in love with you.”
“Stupidly?”
“Crazily, madly, dangerously...completely.”
The pain in her eyes softened a little. She found healing in my love, which only made me want to give her more. To shower her in it, bathe her in it, make her swim in it night and day so she never had to reach the shore again.
It took effort, monumental effort, but I let her go.
Taking a step back, doing my best not to fear what lived in the sand beneath my feet, I kept my eyes locked on hers and confessed, “My name is not Aslan Avci.”
“Wait...what?”
“It’s Aslan Kara. And I’m not the son of a kind math professor but am the one and only heir to Cem Kara...the biggest crime lord in Turkey.”
Chapter Forty-Five
