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“But still....” Tearing her hands through her hair, she waded through the sea. “God, how have you lived with this for so long? I’ve been so stupid. All along, I figured you were just being dramatic when you said I couldn’t follow you to Turkey. I was so sure I’d just go with you if you were ever caught. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care where we live—”
“And I love you for that but—”
“But now you’re telling me that if you get caught, that’s it for us? That it’s over because you’ll be killed?” She shook her head, her eyes brimming with fresh tears. “No. I can’t...no! That can’t happen. How are we supposed to live with that? How are we supposed to go anywhere? God, Aslan, how do you even leave the house without panicking? How are you so calm about this?”
I smiled gently, stepping into her to brush away her tears. “Now you know why I’m perfectly content in your garden. Why I don’t go out unless it’s necessary. Why I’m so fucking loyal to Jack and Anna because without them, I would’ve died years ago. They’re the reason I’ve survived this long. And to go behind their backs and fall in love with you makes me sick because...they are as good as the people who kept me as their own. Twice I’ve been lucky enough to be cared for by parents who aren’t mine by blood. That’s why I need to do this right, Neri. Why I need time to ensure Jack knows I didn’t have a choice when it came to you. That I can’t exist without you. That I didn’t intend for this to happen but—”
“We’ll get married. That will show them.”
“I wish I could. Don’t you think I haven’t thought that? It was what I was thinking about when you came into my room tonight before you went to Zara’s.” I winced and swallowed a growl, cursing fucking Ethan all over again. “I was so close to marching into town and buying you a ring and dropping to one knee in front of your parents.”
“You were?” Her forehead furrowed as more pain carved its way over her beautiful face. “Then why did you say kissing me was a mistake?”
“Because I also thought about leaving. I pictured myself running and never coming back. I never want you to know the agony of grief. I don’t want to steal any more of your life, and I’ll steal all of it if I get caught. I’ll take the soul you’ve so wonderfully given me, and a piece of you will die with me, Neri. Just like I would die if anything ever happened to you. That’s how this works. A heart for a heart. A life for a life. It was a mistake kissing you because it was the most selfish thing I’ve ever done...but if I had to go back and make the choice all over again, I would probably kiss you that first night I escaped from the hospital when the nurse told me agents were coming to question me. You found me eating a carrot from your veggie garden. You were twelve. So fucking young, yet I knew. Even then. I should’ve just given in right there because there was no other path for us. I know that now. I accept it. And, even though I can’t legally marry you, I still have a question to ask. A very important question that I really shouldn’t ask. A question that demands an answer. An answer that can never be changed once you give it.”
She froze.
Her eyes searched mine.
“Ask,” she breathed, trembling and causing wakes to feather out in the water around her.
Cupping her face, I ran my thumbs over her cheekbones. “Do you promise me, absolutely fucking swear, that if we ever get separated, you will never come searching for me? That you will let me go. Trust that, if I’m able to, I will return to you. I will come back to you. And if I don’t...it’s not because I don’t love you, but because I can’t.”
She flinched. “That wasn’t the question I was expecting.”
“Answer it. Vow to me, here and now.”
Looping her fingers around my wrists, she held on to me as tightly as I held onto her. “I swear.” Tears glittered on her eyelashes as she murmured, “I will never stop loving you, Aslan Avci. I will never stop hoping that we will find a way to keep you here legally. But...if something happens, I promise I won’t go to Turkey.”
“In that case, Nerida Taylor...” I stepped into her, our legs kissing in the sea, warmer eddies from our bodies swirling around us. “Benimle evlenir misin?”
A smile lifted her lips. “I bet you think I don’t understand, but...I have a little secret of my own.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “After you said a similar phrase to me four months ago, I’ve been learning. I’m my mother’s daughter, after all. I can’t have her talking to you in Turkish and not be able to eavesdrop.”
I chuckled, so grateful she was still Neri. Still pure and strong and brilliant. “And what did I ask you?”
She leaned in and kissed me ever so softly. “You asked me to marry you. Again.”
“And?” My belly flipped. “What’s your answer this time? Bearing in mind you can never change it.”
“Seninle evlenmeyi çok isterim.”
My knees buckled. Her words were a vicious punch to the chest. She made a few mistakes. Her tongue didn’t quite master the dialect, but...fuck me...hearing her speak my language did things to me. Dark things. Light things. Wonderous things.
My fingers slinked from her cheeks and through her hair, dragging her into me.
I didn’t think about what she’d endured.
I forgot about what she’d survived.
I lost myself as I pressed my mouth to hers and kissed her.
Kissed her as if she was the only reason I was alive because that was the truth.
Her arms shot around my waist and our legs tangled beneath the surface. Her hips ground against my upper thigh, and my hard cock wedged against her belly. She shuddered in my arms as I plunged my tongue into her mouth.
A small part of me that still contained common sense had just enough strength to pull away. Panting hard, I gasped, “Is this okay? Too fast? Too hard? Tell me how I should touch you and—”
“Forget about what happened, Aslan. I have. Or at least...I’m trying. Don’t let him steal us. I love how rough you are with me. I love how desperately you need me. Don’t touch me as if I’m breakable because I’m not.”
