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But the day she no longer needed me...I was slipping beneath the surface and never coming up again.
*
Two years...
*
I called him at two in the morning.
The same time he’d shot Aslan two years ago.
I stood on the starlit beach, gripping the shell Aslan had lost the night everything went so dreadfully wrong. The night of my birthday. A night that’d become horribly entwined with my life getting older and Aslan’s coming to an end.
I listened to the waves hissing on the shore.
I waited...
“Tekrar merhaba, kizim.” (Hello again, daughter).
A ripple of pure hatred shot down my spine as Cem’s voice filled my ear. His voice sounded so similar to Aslan’s. His deep rich tone echoed in my mind even now. My husband’s face forever tainted because it was the mirror image of his murderer.
“Bana hayatta oldugunu söyle,” I hissed. (Tell me he’s alive).
“You speak Turkish now?”
“I’ve been dedicating myself to becoming fluent.”
“Etkilendim.” (I’m impressed).
“Tell me. Tell me you lied.”
He chuckled. “Another year and you’re still in denial. I don’t think this blind faith in his existence is healthy, kizim.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“Stop calling me on the anniversary of your loss.”
“Give me back what you stole, and I won’t have to call again.”
He laughed out loud. “I see why my son fell in love with you. You have claws. I like it.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks despite the loathing searing in my blood. Sorrow tangled with my hate, and I slipped just enough to beg, “Lütfen. Lütfen bana gerçegi söyle.” (Please. Please, tell me the truth).
“The truth is he died two years ago.” A rustling sounded as his voice darkened. “I watch you, Nerida. I watch you raising my granddaughter. I watch you playing with dreams and wishes. I suggest you stop. I suggest you accept that he is gone. I would hate for Ayla to lose her mother as well as her father.”
My chest fissured. “W-What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, you’re killing yourself, canim.”
My knees gave out, dropping me to the sand.
That word.
That single word that Aslan had whispered to me a thousand times.
A word that meant everything yet somehow nothing.
A word that took my breath away.
