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I didn’t know why my heart panged for a woman I’d never met. “How?”
“Sepsis.” His face fell, and he dropped back into the chair beside me. “That’s why I’m so sorry for sedating you, Aslan. The doctor said you run the risk of dying the way she did...if we don’t get your system stabilised.”
My ears rang.
My mind tripped with words, threading Turkish with English. It’d been so long since I’d held a fluent conversation that I found it far too easy to be swept up in it, dragged along with the beauty of a tongue I was born to, all while it carried me further away from the language I shared with Neri.
“Neri...” I choked. “I need to call her. To tell her I’m—”
“I told her you were dead.”
“What?”
“It’s for the best.”
“Y-You can’t. Fuck.” I shot upright, ignoring the spinning room and burning bones. “You can’t let her believe that. It’s a lie. She’ll be—”
“Heartbroken? Yes, she most likely will be. I know the ache of heartbreak, Aslan. Your mother, Defne, will always haunt me, but...it’s for the best. You will eventually move on and find a woman worthy of your future rank. And the pretty Australian girl you had a fling with will be nothing more than—”
“She’s my wife,” I hissed. “I will never marry anyone else.”
His eyebrows rose. “Your wife? Her last name is still Taylor. You were illegal. How—”
“It’s done. We’re bound in every way that counts. Let me call her. Right fucking now. You can’t let her keep thinking I’m dead.” Sourness splashed on my tongue as my temperature rose and weakness crawled through my limbs. “Fuck, she thinks I’ve been dead for six days. She’ll be...she’ll be distraught.”
“She will heal.”
“But I won’t! Let me go. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be your heir. I’m not your son! You killed my uncle and aunt. You are the reason my parents, sister, and cousin are dead—”
“Careful, Aslan. Those people were not your family. I am.”
“You will never be my family.”
The room chilled as Cem turned to stone beside me. “You are correct about that. For now. You carry my blood, yet you are corrupted by others. I’d hoped...” He sighed and shook his head. “I’d hoped not to have to discuss this so soon, but...you give me no choice—”
“Just let me tell Nerida I’m okay, alright? I’ll stay here while I heal, and then—”
“You’ll leave me again?” He shook his head. “No, that’s not possible.”
“If you truly care for me like a father, you would want me to make my own life.”
“The life I offer you is incomparable.”
“I don’t want it. I could never do what you do and hurt those you hurt.”
“That’s because you’re weak.” He sniffed as his eyes welled with fresh tears. Crocodile tears. Tears from a murderer. “It’s up to me to make you strong again.”
My heart skipped a few beats as the tug of fog and spinning dizziness threatened to pull me under. I wasn’t in any condition to fight or even argue. I accepted that, for now, I was stuck here. And while being stuck in a bed with drugs flowing in my veins to keep me alive, I had no choice but to play nice, but...I also couldn’t lie.
I couldn’t say I’d be something I could never be...life or no life.
Taking a deep breath, I whispered, “Can’t you choose another heir? Someone you know? Someone who is already what you want?”
“There is no such person.”
I frowned. “But...I thought you wanted to kill me. My father—”
“I am your father,” he snarled. “Emre was a thief.”
