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I’m going to find a way to get back to you...I promise.
“Please.” I swallowed back my rage. “Don’t let her think she’s going mad. Tell her. If you love me at all, you’ll tell her I’m alive and—”
“How will she know you’re not gone?” Cem asked suspiciously.
My eyes burned with motherfucking tears.
I didn’t want to tell this bastard anything about her.
I wanted her to be completely unknown to him.
But...if it made him pull her out of the awful pit of misery? If he helped me give her salvation?
“She...she’s always been in-tune. She knew when her childhood friend died from a dog attack. She...senses things.”
He watched me closely. “A talented boy falls in love with a talented girl, it seems.”
“Just let me talk to her. Let me tell her I’m alive, and—”
“The day you truly become my son, Aslan Kara, is the day I will willingly let you call her. If you still love her after you take your rightful place by my side, you have my blessing to bring her to you. You can rule my empire together. I am not such a cold-hearted man to deny two people who love each other—”
“Yet you’ll happily let her endure a year believing I’m dead?”
He shrugged. “Call it character building.”
“Fuck you,” I snarled. “Fuck. You.”
He curled his upper lip. “Think of it this way, if she finds another while you learn who you truly are, then she was never meant to be yours. She was lying, and I’d rather you wait to see if she is loyal than be blindsided when she betrays you.”
“She would never betray me.”
“I guess you’ll know soon enough, won’t you?”
“I hate you,” I hissed.
“And she thinks you are dead.” He shrugged almost sadly. “And really, that isn’t a lie. Aslan Avci is dead. The boy she hid with her parents’ help did die. I think he died the day you murdered her rapist.”
I flinched.
I choked on tears.
I’d protected her through bloodshed, and it fucking killed me that I couldn’t do it now. I would kill my own flesh and blood for a single phone call to tell her I was okay. That I would see her again. Love her again.
That awful depression was back.
It sat heavily on my chest, crushing me into the carpet.
You’re weak.
You’re not worthy.
Let her go.
Why would she take you back when you’re in pieces?
Shaking my head, I warred against those miserable lies.
I’m strong.
