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He made the torture my choice.
All it would take was my allegiance.
My admittance that I’d kill, rape, and trade in his name.
That I was a Kara.
That I was remade.
And each time, I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t scrub Neri’s face from my mind or the horror I felt each time I dreamed of selling her all because that was what my father wanted.
I was a spineless coward in my dreams.
But here, in this life that was slowly being snuffed out with each electrocution, I would stay loyal until the end.
“I believe I need more persuading, baba,” I murmured.
His eyes flared. His lips twisted. He snapped his fingers, and two guards came for me. “So be it.”
*
Two years, six months...
*
“What do you say, Aslan?”
I bowed my head and clutched at the wall as the guards deposited me on the threshold of the conservatory. Sunlight streamed through the glass walls and ceiling. I’d never seen so much light.
It hurt.
It seared.
It was another form of electricity, assaulting my cave-adapted eyes instead of zapping through my bones.
“Thank you.” I licked my cracked lips. “For letting me see the day.”
Cem marched toward me and held out his hand. “Come. I figured a nice luncheon was in order, don’t you? You need some sun. Doctor’s orders.”
Ignoring his offer for support, I hopped away from the doorway and headed toward the wrought-iron table and chairs in the middle of the marble patio. Palm trees and ferns crowded the space, making the air dense and damp, rich and humid. A fountain babbled somewhere, and the chirp of birds granted an innocent tropicalness I didn’t trust.
My balance was a little off, and I swayed forward, catching one of the chairs before I fell. Another few months had blended into time I would never get back, and my body was sick again.
I was cold all the time. I could barely think around the incessant pressure of despair.
So many days I willed myself to just give in, to get it over with.
But then evenings would come, and nightmares would haunt, and I’d wake with renewed purpose with another vow to my tattoo. My ink represented everything stolen from me and everything I would one day earn back.
I’d grow strong again.
Stubborn again.
And by the time Cem came for me, the entire vicious circle would begin again.
And again.
