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No more lying.
No more pretending or coping or hoping to be better while unable to face the past.
I had no protection.
I couldn’t hide.
And in that moment of breaking, I gave in.
I sank into the rubble left inside me.
I accepted everything that Cem had done.
I surrendered to myself.
To life.
To her.
And...I sobbed.
I gathered Neri against me, tucking her into my arms and heart, and cried my fucking eyes out.
We rocked together.
Grieved together.
We let five years of misery wake around us and a lifetime of denial to finally wash free.
And that was how we stayed for days, weeks, years.
It felt as if the world kept spinning, but we were in our own universe. Singular and apart, found and finally free.
I didn’t know how much time passed, but eventually, our tears dried up and our arms ached with cramps. Night had fallen, cicadas chirped, and waves crashed upon the sand down the road.
Streetlights had clicked on as we slowly untangled ourselves and pulled away just enough to look into each other’s eyes.
We froze.
I couldn’t explain the peace inside me. The humbling, honouring union that...everything would be okay now.
I had no more ghosts haunting me, no more fears or failures.
I’d let them all go.
I was empty and blissful and absolutely enraptured by this moment and all the moments we would make together.
We didn’t speak as our gazes locked and our hearts did all the talking.
I cupped her cheek and ran my thumb over the streaks of salt on her skin. She leaned into my palm with a hitched breath, and it was as natural as coming back to life as I slid my fingers around her nape and tugged her forward.
Our noses touched first, nudging with the softest hello. Our breath touched next, mingling with our linked lifeforce. And when our lips touched for that first time in over five years, we didn’t rush. Didn’t deepen. We shivered and groaned, sinking into the taste of love and knowing that this was it for us.
We kissed.
Through death and time, separation and sadness.
We’d survived only to come back to the one place that made sense.
